Voice is important, whether you’re writing a novel or a picture book.
One question that often arises is, “Can you revise for voice?” Yes. Here’s an example of how it worked for me.
Create a Compelling Voice for a Picture Book
For example, in an early draft of picture book 19 Girls and Me, I revised for an editor and sent him a version that started like this:
When John Hercules Po started kindergarten in Room 9B, it was an odd class. There were nineteen girls and one boy, John Hercules.
“You’ll be a sissy,” said John’s big brother. He was in second grade and he was not a sissy.
“No, I won’t,” said John Hercules. “I’ll turn those girls into tomboys.”
On Monday, when the kindergarten went out for recess, a ladder was lying beside the wall. John Hercules called to the nineteen girls, “Let’s climb that mountain.”
Nineteen girls and one boy climbed Mount Everest and played with the Abominable Snowman until Mrs. Ray called them in to warm up with chicken noodle soup for lunch.
I thought I did a good job!
Editor’s Reaction
The editor at wrote back: “You clearly took my suggestion to heart, and have a stronger manuscript as a result. My sense is you’re not all the way there yet, though. When I read this story, my gut is searching for a snap! of energy, to play alongside the soaring imagination of the children. Instead, the narrative voice feels bland . . . “
Hopeless? No. Here’s the story of the second revision.
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Related posts:
- Voice Friday: Revising for Voice
- Picture Books: Folk Tale or Modern Story?
- Voice Friday: Word Sounds
- Putting the Picture in Picture Books
- Rhyming picture books bibliography
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