Character Revision: 8 Ways to Jumpstart a Make Over

You have a first draft, but you realize that your character needs work. How do you retrofit a character when you revise?

I don’t think of a personality transplant. Instead, I try to add to and enrich a character. Here are 8 suggestions on how to revise your novel’s character.

1. Change the name. The apocryphal story is that Gone with the Wind‘s Scarlett O’Hara was named Pansy in the first draft. Sometimes a simple name change will resonate throughout a text.
2. Change the gender. Yes, a basketball player can become a female and a cheerleader can become a male. Sometimes this change will create a unique character with lots of nuances as they work against gender stereotypes.
3. Give the character a more interesting job/role/activity. In my Creative Writing for Children class, one common problem was that students concentrated on developing the character relationships to the exclusion of anything else. They did a good job of laying out the emotional conflicts of the story. But the characters were boring because they weren’t DOING anything. For example, one YA story had a young man who was being bullied by football players. When I suggested that the main character become the sole male on the cheerleader squad, the story took on a vibrant tone. The character had something to DO, while the relationships were happening. Another student had a family in the throes of divorce and step-parents became an issue. When she gave the main character a goal of winning a title showing horses, the story became concrete and believable. The horse story became the backdrop and the mirror for the family story.
4. Create internal conflicts. What does your character want or feel? What is the opposite of that? Can your character want both things at the same time? Depending on your mss’ length, find several specific spots where you can add this type of conflict. For example, one of my current characters is bathing at a lake and takes mud and smears on himself. Then he gazes at himself in the still waters. He’s ashamed of who he is and wants to become someone greater–which is in direct opposition to his usual pride in himself.
5. Create zig-zags in the emotional pacing. If I look at the first 100 lines of Libba Bray’s A Great and Terrible Beauty,

   I find these emotional zig-zags: surprise, disgust, fear, argue with Mom, defiant, sarcastic, misery at heat, annoyed, thinks of father, mother sighs, rejected, ignored, longing, stranded, misunderstood, lonely, annoyed, bored, satisfaction, hope.

   That is, in the margins of the book, I noted what emotions the main character was feeling. Many authors make the mistake of letting the character feel one overriding emotions. For example, anxiety that their father is sick. Most people, though, feel a much wider range of emotions and your characters will be more fully developed, if you give them a wide range, too. When I did this exercise for one of my mss, I found that I had about the same number of emotions in 100 lines, but not the same depth of emotions. Bray?s book had bigger zigs and zags, more variation and deeper variation. Better emotional pacing.

6. Give your character larger-than-life qualities. What would your character never say or do? Of course, they MUST say or do this very thing. And do it with memorable lines. One of my characters knows his place in his world and it’s a humble place. So, when he says he’d be Emperor some day, it enlarges his characterization.
7. Slow down. Big emotions, big scenes, big thoughts–these all require space to develop. Give your characters several pages (and lots of emotional zig-zags) to properly express the development of these Big things. The climax scenes should take up more space than any other scene in your story. Give blow-by-blow accounts of what is happening. Let us feel the emotional tensions as fortunes swing wildly.
8. Raise personal stakes. What’s at risk in the story for your character? What would make the conflicts mean more? What could raise stakes to the highest plane? This is a place where you write down 20 things and throw them out. Write down 20 more things and you might finally be past the cliches and have something worth keeping. Dig deeper to understand what really motivates this character. Why do they care about the outcome of the story? How can you make the outcome matter even more? Put more at risk. Give the character an unanticipated loss. Extend the problem to a different front, from public to personal, or vice versa. Kill off a close ally. Give the character a close call, a mini-disaster, a preliminary loss. Take away a physical asset. Undermine the character?s faith. Or the faith of a supporting character. Set a clock ticking?time is running out. In short?push characters to the edge. Other suggestions?

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Wisdom, the Midway Albatross

by Darcy Pattison

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As I’m working on the plan for this new novel, creating characters and trying out voices, I’m trying to strengthen my weakest areas.

My Weakness is Character

My weakness is character. I can plot fine, but creating characters with plausible character growth is hard for me. I think I’ve got it and my friends tell me that I’m still way off.

This time, I’m majoring on the character’s emotional life. I won’t actually start writing until I have charted the ups and downs of the character as she moves through the events planned.

In James Frey’s book, How to Write a Damn Good Novel II, he gives an example of the Biblical story of Samson and Delilah. Frey uses the idea of a premise, or a short statement about the overall story. For Samson, he uses the premise: Repentance leads to a glorious death.

Frey says that a premise isn’t the same as a moral, and doesn’t have to match up with what we would normally call moral or right or ethical. Instead, it’s a summary of what THIS STORY is saying; it’s intrinsic to this one and only story.

What I liked was when Frey expanded upon the premise:

God’s love leads to a great strength, which leads to heroism in battle, which leads to haughtiness and arrogance, which leads to temptations of the flesh, which leads to betrayal, which leads to defeat and disgrace and blindness, which leads to repentance, which leads to a restoration of superpowers, which leads to a glorious death.

He says the premise, “Repentance leads to a glorious death” is merely a shorthand for the longer version.

Well, I’ve got the premise down! What I’m trying to do right now is to expand it (hindsight is always easier!) so that I can see the character arc better, especially the emotional arc. I love that Frey’s expansion had character qualities: haughty, arrogant, disgrace.

I would like to make it even more tied to those, so it will help me write a better character story:

God’s love overwhelms, which leads to devotion to God, which leads to surprising gift of great strength, which leads to courage, which leads to a heady success in battle, which leads to haughtiness and arrogance, which leads to less devotion to God, which leads to passion and love for Delilah, which leads to betrayal and heartache, which leads to defeat, despair, disgrace and blindness, which leads to repentance, which leads to a renewed awe and devotion to God, which leads to surprising gift of super strength restored, which leads to ultimate sacrifice for sake of God, which leads to a glorious death.

Well, maybe not that much different, but I like–and need–that emphasis on character.

While I’m developing character conflicts, I’m also working on this emotional arc. When I know the arc, then it will be easier to test plot events to make sure they are related to this emotional arc.

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Wisdom, the Midway Albatross

by Darcy Pattison

Giveaway ends March 11, 2012.

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4 Stages of Character Development

When you write a first draft, there are really two novels at that point. There’s the one on the paper and there’s the one in your head and they are not the same.

I know this. But I’m experiencing it again as I’m working through this revision. In order to put on paper what is in my head, I’ve had to pay attention to feedback.

Blurry Characters
http://www.flickr.com/photos/hugovk/217155496/

Confusing Characters. The second round of feedback told me the same thing: my readers were confused. Here’s the problem: I thought that readers would understand relationships from implications in the text. But that was making them work too hard; they lost confidence in my storytelling. I realized that I had to lay it all out there, in other words, put it on the page.

Now, this does NOT mean that I put in the whole kitchen sink. No. I didn’t want to overwhelm readers with backstory. But naming a relationship was OK: “she’s my almost-adoptive-mother.” The reader still doesn’t know all of what that “almost” means but at least there’s now a frame of reference.

For the secondary character, I added a tiny bit of flashback, only 3-4 lines. It’s active, unusual, with good segues in and out of it. I almost want to take it out, because I don’t like backstory in the first chapter. But I think it’s crucial for the reader to understand the nature of what this character faces.

Deeper Characters. Finally, this third time around, my reader says my characters are deeper, motivations are clear and I’ve created great sympathy for the characters’ plight. Now, I’m just inconsistent.

Inconsistent Characters. My job on the next pass was to make sure the characters’ voices stayed consistent, the characters didn’t do or say anything that was out of character for their age or situation, and that the story itself remained consistent in tone and voice.

Exactly What I Envisioned. Well, almost, anyway. Nothing is set in stone yet, but I’m pretty pleased with how these characters are behaving right now. Pleased enough to move on and not bother my readers with this section again, but wait until there’s a whole revised novel to read.

Do your characters progress through similar stages? Blurry, confusing, deeper, inconsistent, exactly what I envisioned. Notice what was needed at each point: feedback. I only knew how well I was doing by checking in with a reader. Sometimes, especially in the early chapters, I need several rounds of feedback with my readers to make sure I’m making the needed changes. Now, with these chapters as my benchmark, I’m hoping to progress without so much feedback.

How would you describe your character’s progression through drafts? What feeds your revision cycle?

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Wisdom, the Midway Albatross

by Darcy Pattison

Giveaway ends March 11, 2012.

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I’m worried. :-/
Are my characters boring?

One-Note Characters

One common difficulty is to create characters with a wide range of emotions. Yes, your character may be chronically sad or mad; but if that note is hit over and over and over, it becomes boring. And unrealistic.

I’m afraid I’m on the verge of doing this for my main character. I’ve got to go back and track the small shifts of emotion within a scene, as well as the overall tone set for each scene. One technique is to simply write the dominant emotion in the margins of the mss and track what you’ve done.

The harder part is to build in those emotional changes in a book character. First, I’ll tackle the overall tone of the scene, lightening it up. This means small choices throughout, favoring more upbeat language throughout. It doesn’t mean I can’ use sad or mad as one of the emotions; it doesn’t mean that the character is overwhelmingly cheerful. It only means there needs to be a dominant tone of mad, but trying to get over it! And there needs to be lighter moments within the story.

For more on how to revise a novel see this series:
30 Days to a Stronger Novel

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Wisdom, the Midway Albatross

by Darcy Pattison

Giveaway ends March 11, 2012.

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My Plotting is Messy

This week, we’ve discusses 9 ways to plot. So, how do I plot?
Basic story line. Two of these are probably worthless for me: writing from character and the Snowflake Method.

I like to know from Tobias’ Master Plots if I’m trying for a character or action novel, so I’ll often review these universal plots in the beginning of a story. Then, I turn to Plot Patterns, looking for a structure which will force my characters to face horrible odds. (Me? I’d let them off easy!) I’m aware of the options out there, so I don’t feel like I have to create a story about two characters changing each other, such as Dunne advocates. On the other hand, I know it’s available if I need it. I do like to know the beginning and the end, to make sure they match up. I like to know the major change in character goals that occurs at the midpoint, such as Seigel advocates.

Hero’s Journey and Scenes. That gives me a basic story line. After that, my fall back position is the Hero’s Journey because it addresses both inner and outer conflicts; or, I like Dunne’s suggestion of double-sided plot cards. I like to have the novel sketched out in terms of the Hero’s Journey, knowing that about halfway through, I’ll change it and replot because I’ve written something different. Finally, I love Scofield’s scenes, the way she describes and lays open the heart of a scene. As I write, I try to consciously set up a scene for the maximum impact.

Revising? I have certain favorite ways of evaluating the effectiveness of my story, which is fully explained in my book, Novel Metamorphosis: Uncommon Ways to Revise. Like Zuckerman and Maass, I’m trying to lay bare assumptions about story and make sure I’ve followed them. After I’ve done that, I go to Maass for advice on how to and dig deeper.

Then, it’s off for rounds of critiques and major rewrites.

Comments? What is your basic plotting method? Is it as messy as mine?

Books Mentioned in This Series

• Bickham, Jack. Scene & Structure
• Card, Orson Scott. Character & Viewpoint
• Dunne, Peter Emotional Structure: Creating the Story Beneath the Plot
• Field, Syd.
• Maass, Donald. Writing the Breakout Novel
• Maass, Donald. Writing the Breakout Novel Workbook
• Noble, June & William. Steal this Plot.
• Scofield, Sandra. The Scene Book: A Primer for the Fiction Writer.
• Swain, Dwight.Techniques of the Selling Writer
• Tobias, Ronald. 20 Master Plots
• Vogler, Christopher. The Writer’s Journey.
• Vorhaus, John. The Comic Toolbox.
• Zuckerman, Albert. Writing the Blockbuster Novel.

Websites Mentioned in This Series

• Free Write to Let Characters Reveal Themselves
• Idea, Idea, Character, Character, Character, Setting
• Plot Starts with Character
• Randy Ingermanson’s Snowflake Method

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Wisdom, the Midway Albatross

by Darcy Pattison

Giveaway ends March 11, 2012.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

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What Age Do you Have to Be to Write a Novel?

The question of the perfect age to write a novel comes up sometimes when I do school visits.

• Too young? At what age are you too young to write a novel and have it published? I’ve seen a 13 year old published and published well.
• Too old? And Richard Peck (April 5, 1934 – ) is still writing strong and many say he’s writing his best work now, including this one due out in September.

Basically, you just need to have a story you want to tell and you want to tell it badly enough that you’ll play with words over a long period of time so you get enough words written.

Strategies for Different Ages

But this also means that you must find different ways of working for your stage of life. When I first started writing, I had four kids at home and was home schooling the oldest. I carried around an ink pen to remind myself that when I had fifteen minutes free, I should write.

Today, I go to work at my office and try to work 4-6 hours per day. It’s hard to make myself stop when I come home!

Find a way to work. Find habits that let you work and revise your novel.

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Wisdom, the Midway Albatross

by Darcy Pattison

Giveaway ends March 11, 2012.

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Introduced first in 2007, authors debuting children’s books have formed a cooperative effort to market their novels. Last year, I featured many of the stories of how the 2k8 Novels Were Revised. This is part of the ongoing stories from the Class of 2k9 authors and how they went about revising their novels.

After yesterday’s posting about when to stop revising and send in a story, J.T. Dutton’s story seemed especially appropriate. Darcy

Freaked: A Revision Story

Guest Post
by J.T. Dutton

My first book, Freaked, lept into the world three months ago. Since then, I’ve been trying to form ideas for a short blog on revision. I’ve seized on some good thoughts for the discussion, stuff I teach in my Composition classes, ways to revise to improve sentences or arguments through better examples. I am an intense devotee of the school of write and rewrite. “Nothing is so smooth it can’t be smoother” is one of my mantras.

But when I have to talk about the revising I did on Freaked, I feel shy. I read a lot and I can think of fifty or hundred novels that I see as perfect—every sentence, word, and scene. I’d like to be a “perfect” writer too, but the fact is, I’m not. I get muddled. I have reread Freaked at least three times since it came into print, each time cringing at the number of things I would change now that I’m older and wiser. This is after revising it hundreds of times over twelve years, with the last pass conducted by some of the smartest people in the writing business—the editors and copy editors at HarperCollins.

Surgeons Don’t Get “Do Overs”

My Dad reminded me recently, when I was expressing angst about my second book, Stranded, of a quote from Albert Einstein, “perfection is the enemy of good.” My Dad is a retired surgeon. In his field, he didn’t get do-overs. He had to believe in his skills, be courageous about them. He is always stopping to offer assistance at road-side accidents. He volunteers for an ambulance service and a local fire department despite the fact that he faces liability issues as the most prepared person on the scene if something goes wrong. (This is why some doctor’s don’t stop for emergencies.)

Dad has made it a lifetime practice to do what he can, when he can. He even “vacations” every couple of years at hospital in Haiti.

Revision is a great thing, but for people like me, it can lead to obsession and excuses not to share my work. At a certain point, I have to take my dad’s advice and admit that I can’t tuck every thread, that I’m flawed, that I make mistakes, but it’s better to offer the world what skills I have than to offer it nothing at all. In this way, I guess, the writing can be interesting, individual, and courageous, rather than perfect.

A pretty worthy goal.

Thanks Dad. You are my hero.

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Wisdom, the Midway Albatross

by Darcy Pattison

Giveaway ends March 11, 2012.

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Transitions: Filling in the Time Line

I’m at a tricky place in my revision where I need a good transition. There’s a time gap. Certain events need to take place in late October and November, but I’m at about the 4th of July on the story’s time line. I need to get on with the story quickly, but it’s difficult. As it’s set up, my MC is starting middle school this fall, and that should be a big event in his life. But it’s NOT a major event, necessarily, in the story as currently told.

Yes, this is about a character, so he can be distracted for a while by this new school, but I don’t want to lose track of the events in October/November.

Create a mini-subplot that spans a couple chapters. I could think of July-October as a couple chapters of a mini-subplot. Adventure novels often do when there’s a chase sequence that spans several chapters. When the chase ends (someone is caught or someone gets away), the story returns to the main story.

Bridging events. I could think of this as needing bridging conflict, events that cause my character trouble that relates more or less to the main conflict. In this case, the events wouldn’t necessarily be a complete subplot. It could include scenes from several subplots, or it could be a small digression that shows backstory,or puts my character in a new light.

I don’t want filler material here, though. Either way, everything needs to be necessary to the story. That’s the trick! Finding bridging conflict or a mini-subplot to fill the time, but making sure it’s necessary to the story. Again, it won’t do, just to have a summary paragraph getting him to October. Going into middle school is simply too big a life event to summarize away.

Any other ways you handle major transitions or fill in gaps in your timelines?

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Wisdom, the Midway Albatross

by Darcy Pattison

Giveaway ends March 11, 2012.

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Last week, I asked how you measure the progress of revising your novel, or of a writing session. Here’s the results:

Word Count and Page Count Indicate Progress

Word Count edges out Page Count by one vote. It seems the ease of counting words with word processors has made Word Count one of the easiest statistics by which to measure progress.

39,704 Words!

However, Page Count was only one vote behind.
Either way, it seems that we like those numbers! We can graph it, brag it, and soothe our writing beast with numbers.

Other Benchmarks of Progress

However, the other benchmarks of progress also got votes: finishing a chapter or an act, and the amount of time spent. It makes sense that not everyone does it the same way. Some write fast, others slow, so a time limit can easily work. I know that when I had four children underfoot, fifteen minutes a day was success!

Setting and Finishing Goals

Barbara Seuling says that she tries to meet the challenge of whatever faces her in a writing session and if she does that successfully, then she’s made progress. This gets away from the numbers and focuses more on the process and the content – a valuable approach.

Casey points out the obvious: we only worry about measuring progress when there’s a pause in the progress.

I think this is partly about the rhythms of the day, the rhythms of the work. But it could also be places/times when you get unexpectedly stuck! Then, we need to measure our progress to remind ourselves that we are making progress. Usually, for me, that’s why I stop and evaluate my progress: to maintain my confidence that I can continue to make progress.

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Wisdom, the Midway Albatross

by Darcy Pattison

Giveaway ends March 11, 2012.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

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Re-Reading: The Basic Revision Strategy

I’m always amazed at how much the revision process depends on re-reading what you wrote.

It’s an obvious statement, of course. Yet, when I ask people about their revision process, re-reading is seldom mentioned. It’s one of those assumed things.

Suggestions for Re-reading to Re-envision

• Re-read an entire section, not just half a page. One editor cautioned against re-reading just half a page, because you don’t get a sense of how the revision flows with the rest of the story. It’s easy to repeat a word or phrase, to change tone, or to get slightly off-voice (like a singer gets off-key). Take it from the top of the novel or the top of the chapter; for picture books under 500 words, read the whole thing again.
• Single space the mss and print it out. This often helps me to see and hear the mss differently. Play with different fonts and print it out. Do you have a character who is feminine and delicate? Print her chapter in a script font; or, to contrast, print it in a harsh, upright font.
• Read out loud. OK. I mutter out loud. My husband is self-employed and we own an office building, so I have an office there myself. If I read out loud, it would bother others. So, I mutter out loud. Or, I put on earphones and use a software program that reads it out loud to me. (Actually, this is a good reminder: I need to use the earphones/read to me option more!) Or, I go home and read it out loud. Or, go to a park. Muttering isn’t as good as reading aloud, because you don’t get the real flow of the novel or picture book.

Someone once asked me how many times I had read through a novel. Who knows? More times than I can count, I’ve read every word. It’s the basis of all good revisions.

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Wisdom, the Midway Albatross

by Darcy Pattison

Giveaway ends March 11, 2012.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

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