Have you signed up for 750words.com yet? Or will you try doing 750 words on paper? I’ve just completed my 20th day of doing 750 words!

Here’s another creative writing prompt for your 750 words, a challenge to write 750 words each day in January to better Think Like a Writer. The next three days of Thinking Like a Writer are all connected and I’ll explain it here, then just remind you of the prompts for the next two days.

A scan is a way to show a crowd scene economically, yet in an interesting way. It involves a series of small zooms: the quarterback’s mother is taping the game with a new video camera that she borrowed money to buy; the coach’s pencil is hovering over two names, trying to decide if he’ll start the injured quarterback or his backup; the head cheerleader is trying to shake off a headache and wondering if that red pill the quarterback gave her would help or not. In a short paragraph, you get the complexities of the crowd!

As always, start with the basic sensory details list, but this time you skip around. You can do full details for the coach, the quarterback’s mother, the quarterback, and the head cheerleader if you want; or you can do partials for each, but focus on getting great “telling details.” If you’re rusty on doing sensory details–and you have to fill out your 750 words anyway–go ahead and do the full sensory details list for each. Then you’ll have a wide selection to choose from as you Think Like a Writer.

And when would you use a Scan?

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Here’s another creative writing prompt for your 750 words, a challenge to write 750 words each day in January to better Think Like a Writer. This is the second day of three days of Thinking Like a Writer about scenes. Here’s the first post to remind you about panoramas, zooms and scans.

Zooms focus in on tiny details. The pencil stub the coach is using to put check marks by player’s names on his clip board, the taped thumb of the quarterback, the aching toe of the head cheerleader. Usually, you’ll need to include sharp sensory details: what the character sees, hears, touches, tastes and feels (not emotions, but temperature and texture). Avoid the cliched details and include interesting and different, but telling details. In the picture here, don’t forget to include a description of the callous, the whorls on the palm and such.

Start with the basic sensory details list and go from there, as you Think Like a Writer!

And the question today is when would you use a Zoom?

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Port Townsend. Photo by Dwight Pattison, c. 2008. Please do not copy. Click to see a larger version.

When you describe a scene of a novel or story, it is important to think about the focal length. Taking a cue from filming, you can think of a couple ways of describing a scene: zoom, pan, scan.

A panorama is the wide-angle view. Think of a football game and you’re sitting on the top of the bleachers with the view of the field and parking lot laid out in front of you. You see the pageantry of the blue and red teams, the yellow school buses, the bustling food stand. It’s an overview, a view from a distance, from overhead.

A zoom, however, focuses in on tiny details. The pencil stub the coach is using to put check marks by player’s names on his clip board, the taped thumb of the quarterback, the aching toe of the head cheerleader. Usually, you’ll need to include sharp sensory details: what the character sees, hears, touches, tastes and feels (not emotions, but temperature and texture). Avoid the cliched details and include interesting and different, but telling details.

A scan is a way to show a crowd scene economically, yet in an interesting way. It involves a series of small zooms: the quarterback’s mother is taping the game with a new video camera that she borrowed money to buy; the coach’s pencil is hovering over two names, trying to decide if he’ll start the injured quarterback or his backup; the head cheerleader is trying to shake off a headache and wondering if that red pill the quarterback gave her would help or not. In a short paragraph, you get the complexities of the crowd!

For the next three days, we’ll focus on one of these ideas. Today, try writing a scene using a Panorama. Tomorrow, write a scene using a Zoom. And on the next day, write a Scan.

While you’re busy Thinking Like a Writer, when would you use each of these techniques? Leave me a suggestion!

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To think like a writer, you must learn to write in scenes as one of the basic creative writing prompts. A scene is a set of contained actions and most writers have sort of an idea about how it goes. But they go wrong in several ways.

Pillow Fight or Pillow Talk: Both type scenes need action - reaction.

This means that you must devise a series of actions for your scene. This is sometimes called a beat sheet, with each beat one action. The actions do not have to be large, it might be something as simple as turning your head in the direction of a sound. But it can’t be thinking about the sound. Yes, you can include an action, a thought, then the reaction; but the emphasis is on the action.

Many scenes go awry when the character slows down to think things through. Yes, that’s a variation of how a scene might go. But think about how that would look on the big screen in a movie. In the middle of Mission Impossible, a character stops to think about what might happen if he doesn’t fight the villain in front of him. Right. Character is dead. That’s an extreme example, of course, but it illustrates what I want to say. Keep the action going! After the scene is over, spend a couple pages if you want of explanation about why this happened and back story and flashbacks and memories. Just keep it out of the scene itself.

Action. Thought or emotion. Reaction. Thought or emotion. Action. Thought or emotion. Reaction. Thought or emotion.

You can also add in a description or two, here or there, of course.

Opening scenes are particularly susceptible to being weakened by the author’s need to set things up with explanatory narrative, flashbacks or long descriptions. Keep the balance light and the pace quick. There’s time enough later for the reader to learn about what your character did at age five and why they are so aggravated with the friend who is pulling them toward the lake.

Today, practice writing a scene. Start with these basics.

• What is your character’s basic goal in the scene?
• What complications will keep the character from reaching that goal?
• What disaster will end the scene?
• Why does this scene matter?
• Where does this scene take place?
• List possible beats, small actions that could keep the scene moving.
• Is there a place where the scene’s dynamics seem to shift, a fulcrum point where possible success turns to disaster? If not, can you plan one.

OK, NOW, you can write your scene. If it is an opening scene, I absolutely forbid you to put in any back story, narrative explanations, or memories. Put me solidly in a scene, give enough details that I am never confused about who, what, when, where and keep the pace moving. Think like a writer: think in scenes.

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Here’s a question from a reader:

Is it ok to use dialogue to tell the main character about the fantasy world she just entered via her sidekick who lives there? I’m not sure how else to do it. Is there such a thing as too much dialogue?

Thanks for the question!

Where to Include Exposition

You’re really asking about a couple things. Exposition is the explanatory text that tells the reader about the setting, the time period, backstory, etc. It’s important that the reader know what’s going on and the tendency is to try to explain everything.

But think about this: when you first meet someone, you know nothing of their back story, their history, how they reacted the first time they ate cotton candy, or whether or not they are scared of dogs. You don’t know their family history, or anything about their job or how well they do in school. You only know the immediate situation.

That’s what you must focus on, is the unfolding of scenes that tell you story.

But, you want to know how to get all that other stuff in there. Is it okay to tell it in dialogue? Maybe.

Unfortunately, little in fiction is set in stone. In general, though, you should trust your reader to understand implications of what you write. Maybe add in a line here or there of explanation, or occasionally a paragraph of description or just plain explanation. But overall, the exposition must be naturally worked into a story AS A SCENE UNFOLDS.

I’m emphasizing the use of scenes. A scene is something immediate happening; it includes action; it includes conflict; it includes immediate consequences. Nothing can interrupt the flow of that scene. In the aftermath of a scene, when the reader is following the character’s reactions to the scene, you might slip in a memory or flashback–if and only if it directly relates to the decision the character must make at this time.

Otherwise, sorry, the exposition must flow naturally.

Examples of Using Exposition

From The Green Glass Sea, by Ellen Klages, p. 43.
This is a story about the families of scientists who are developing the atom bomb. “The Hill” is the research facility in New Mexico where much of the action is set. Suze has just had lunch with mom and is trying to decide what to do for the afternoon:

Both her parents had always worked. Back in Berkeley, though, where they’d been professors at the university, they’d had regular hours. Here on the Hill, she was never sure when she would see them. Especially Mom. Suze missed having her around, which was unpatriotic, because whatever the scientists were working on was going to end the war, and she knew that was more important than playing cards.

Here, the exposition is slipped into the scene and also does a good job of characterizing Suze, who both misses her Mom and Dad, and feels the conflict of their patriotic duty. Usually, it’s better to just put the exposition into a paragraph like this, instead of trying to fit it into dialogue.

On the other hand, here’s a bit from The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins, p. 91-92. In this futuristic reality TV show, children are supposed to kill each other in order to gain food for their section of the country. Here, Haymitch, a mentor, is explaining the reality of the arena:

After about a minute of this, Haymitch says, “Well, then. Well, well, well, Katmiss, there’s no guarantee there’ll be bows and arrows in the arena, but your private session with the Gamemakers, show them what you can do. Until then, stay clear of archery. Are you any good at trapping?”

“I know a few basic snares,” I mutter.

“That may be significant in terms of food,” says Haymitch. “And, Peeta, she’s right, never underestimate strength in the arena. Very often, physical power tilts the advantage to a player. In the Training Center, they will have weights, but don’t reveal how much you can lift in front of the other tributes. The plan’s the same for both of you. You go to group training. Spend the time trying to learn something you don’t know. Throw a spear. Swing a mace. Learn to tie a decent knot. Save showing what you’re best at until your private sessions. Are we clear?” says Haymitch.

Peeta and I nod.

This excerpt definitely takes place in the midst of a scene where Haymitch, the mentor is giving them instruction on how to act during training. We learn a lot! There are public and private training sessions; they must hide their skills; they will train in weights, bow/arrow, spears, maces, tying knots. But also notice that there’s conflict even here. Katmiss “mutters.” She’s resisting the advice of the mentor, reluctant to listen, even as she knows she must.

Notice also, that the mentor relationship allows for more exposition than just a friendship. You must keep in mind the type relationship being shown in the dialogue you use to provide exposition.

So, yes, sometimes, you can use dialogue to explain something. You just need to make sure there’s conflict and a scene to back it up and to keep the reader’s interest.

Avoid Talking Heads

Another aspect of the reader’s question is how much dialogue is too much? Elmore Leonard is known for his almost pure dialogue in his novels. So, using dialogue as your major storytelling strategy can and does work. But you must avoid the danger of Talking Heads: this occurs when two people are talking and there’s no action, no setting, no physical body.

It is easy to write Talking Heads when you get involved in the back and forth of dialogue. But you need to include beats, or small actions that ground the people in a physical setting.

Again, from The Hunger Games, pp148-149.

Here’s a bit of dialogue, without the physical grounding.

“You should be getting some sleep.”
“I didn’t want to miss the party. It’s for us, after all.”
“Are they in costume?”
“Who could tell?” Peeta answers. “With all the crazy clothes they wear here. Couldn’t sleep, either?”
“Couldn’t turn my mind off,” I say.
“Thinking about your family?” he asks.
“No. All I can do is wonder about tomorrow. Which is pointless, of course.”

Compare this to the way Collins wrote it and think about how the physical beats add richness and context to the dialogue.

My feet move soundlessly across the tiles. I’m only a yard behind him when I say, “You should be getting some sleep.”

He starts but doesn’t turn. I can see him give his head a slight shake. “I didn’t want to miss the party. It’s for us, after all.”

I come up beside him and lean over the edge of the rail. The wide streets are full of dancing people I squint to make out their tiny figures in more detail. “Are they in costume?”

“Who could tell?” Peeta answers. “With all the crazy clothes they wear here. Couldn’t sleep, either?”

“Couldn’t turn my mind off,” I say.

“Thinking about your family?” he asks.

“No,” I admit a bit guiltily. “All I can do is wonder about tomorrow. Which is pointless, of course.”

Dialogue needs–usually–to be mixed with physical action and thoughts and emotions. The exact mix is yours to choose as you tell the story. So, there’s not really such a thing as too much dialogue. It’s merely how you choose to use the dialogue that matters. Does it move the story along, keep the pace going, expose conflicts, express emotion, etc.

Don’t let exposition drag down your dialogue. But don’t be afraid to use dialogue to give some exposition. Just keep everything in balance and most of all remember to keep the story moving. Don’t let dialogue or exposition drag down the pacing of your story.

Any other tips for exposition or dialogue?

Got questions? We can’t talk about them if you don’t ask! Thanks to A for taking the time to ask.

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Scenes and Narrative Summary

While I’m working on ideas for a new novel, I’m also spending a couple hours a day revising an old one. For this revision, my goal is to make sure each scene is working. Some of the feedback I’ve gotten is that there’s still a bit too much Telling-instead-of-Showing. Sigh.

I agree. After reading the first 50 pages, I’ve found a couple muddy scenes and a couple long passages of narrative summary. So, what is narrative summary and when is it okay to use it? That’s what I’m struggling with this week.

Choosing the Right Scenes

Narrative summary. It is impossible to Show-don’t-Tell everything that happens in a story, it’s a matter of choosing where to zoom in. For example, the story of the 3 Little Pigs might include these scenes:

• Mom and Dad meeting
• Mom and Dad having that special moment
• Mom finding out she’s expecting
• The Delivery
• Multiple scenes from raising those Darling Pigs
• Decision Time: Should they send out DPs into the world or not?
• Telling the Pigs it’s time to grow up and leave home
• Pigs resisting change/excited about change
• Pigs walking out the front door
• Pigs scared of the Big Wide World
• Pigs meeting a Straw Peddlar
• and so on

What scenes do we choose to tell in detail and why those scenes?
The rest of it, we summarize or omit. Most tales of the 3 Little Pigs starts with the parents explaining that it’s time to move on. But you could back up and tell more. You could Show-Don’t-Tell those pigs in a fascinating scene in the kitchen right before Dad announces their adulthood. It could be a scene of characterization, Showing the relationship among the brothers, their attitudes toward Mom and Dad and the BWWorld and the Big Bad Wolf. It would be a great scene, setting up the action to come and foreshadowing their reactions.

But do we need it? Probably not. Certainly, the folk/fairy tale genre leaves it out because it mostly cares about roles in life, not full characterization.

Narrative summary: In The Scene Book, Sandra Scofield defines narrative summary like this:

“. . . that part of a story in which the author tells the reader what happened in a compressed form. Such a passage may summarize a day, a week, a season, a year, or whatever. Narrative summary is especially common in novels, when the author wants to cover a great deal of time economically. . .”

4 Ways to Deal with Narrative Summary

My story is a quest, with the characters embarking on a journey. I sure don’t want to cover the daily tedium of traveling, so I’ve used narrative summary. Appropriate. But too long. I have a couple options.

1. Omit or Edit Narrative Summaries. I’ll be looking to cut the narrative summaries from a page and a half to a mere half-page or less. What is the most important parts to convey and how can I do that economically?
2. Scene Cuts. http://www.darcypattison.com/revision/scene-11-scene-cuts/ I hope to find a couple places when I can just plain skip the summary and go straight to a new scene. It will mean some tricky transitions, but it should tighten the story and get rid of those clunky narrative summaries.
3. Dramatic Narration–Punch Up the Narrative Summary. They aren’t all bad, you know. I expect to keep some of the summaries nearly intact. After all, I need the reader the FEEL as if they, too, are on a long journey. Too many rapid scene cuts will make the story choppy and make it feel shorter. It will be a balancing act. However, when I do keep them, I’ll try to infuse the summary with a bit more drama, adding a scrap of dialogue, a touch of description. It will still be a compressed summary, but it will feel more active; I’ll still need to work to get to the next scene quickly. But it will serve the purpose of bridging two scenes in an exciting way.
4. Expand to a Full Scene. As I work through this revision, I may find a single sentence that really should be a full scene. There will need to be a compelling reason to expand it fully, but there will be multiple opportunities for this. For example, when the 3 Little Pigs meet the Straw Peddlar, it could be a full scene, taking up several pages, instead of the short scene we usually get.

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30 Days to Stronger Scenes: Table of Contents

Fiction Notes works to help you write stronger, better stories that will result in a contract! Here are 30 posts about writing stronger scenes.

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SCENE 1: What has the Most Potential for Improving Your Writing?

SCENE 2: Elements of a Scene

SCENE 3: Scene v. Narrative

SCENE 4: Plan a Scene

SCENE 5: Beat Sheets

SCENE 6: Keeping Scenes on Track

SCENE 7: Showdown in Every Scene

SCENE 8: List of Possible Scenes

SCENE 9: Scene List v. Synopsis

SCENE 10: Plotting with Scenes

SCENE 11: Scene Cuts

SCENE 12: Avoid 5 Plotting Mistakes by Using Scenes

SCENE 13: Not Worthy of a Full Scene

SCENE 14: Omit a Scene

SCENE 15: How to Salvage a Scene

SCENE 16: Aiming for Bull’s Eye

SCENE 17: KaBlam! Dynamite Scenes

SCENE 18: Special Scenes: Flashback Scenes

SCENE 19: Special Scenes: Openings

SCENE 20: Special Scenes: Big Scenes

SCENE 21: Special Scenes: Set up big Scenes

SCENE 22: Special Scenes: Climax

SCENE 23: Special Scenes: Final Scenes

SCENE 24: Stories that Spaghetti

SCENE 25: 10 Scene Problems Solved

SCENE 26: All Dialogue Scenes

SCENE 27: Love Scenes

SCENE 28: Scene Length

SCENE 29: Dear-Editor Talks about Scenes

SCENE 30: Scene Checklist

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10 Checkpoints for a Scene

30 Days to a Stronger Scene Table of Contents

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Does your Scene Pass this Checklist?

We’ll wrap up this 30-day series on scenes with a checklist.

1. Where/When. (Setting) Did you orient the reader at the beginning of the scene? Does the reader know where this takes place: room in house, city, state, country, etc? Does the reader know when this takes place: time of day, season of year, place within chronology of story? If the answer to where or when is no, do you have a firm reason for leaving the reader disoriented?


Do NOT Pass Go Until You've Passed this Check List

2. Stakes. Are the stakes of the scene goal clear? If the protagonist fails, do we understand the consequences? Are the consequences substantial? Can you put more at stake, or make it matter in some way?
3. Structure. Is the structure clear, with a beginning, middle, pivot point and ending? Is the chronology of the scene clear (did you use transitions such as then, later, before, after, etc.)?
4. Actions. Are the actions of the scene interesting, and told with active verbs and great clarity?
5. Emotions. Are the emotions clearly stated or implied? Can the reader empathize with the characters? Does the reader weep or laugh, even when the character can’t or won’t?
6. Dialogue. Does the dialogue move the scene forward or is it empty chit-chat? Are there minor conflicts embedded in the conversations?
7. Language. Are you telling or showing? Does your storytelling have clarity and coherence?
8. Voice. Does the language create the proper mood, tone, voice?
9. Transition. Does the scene make a smooth transition to the next scene? If you use a scene cut, does the reader have enough information to follow the cut without getting confused?
10. Cohesive. Do all the elements work together to create a gestalt, a scene that is better than the sum of its parts?

Where does your scene fall down? Revise. You know the drill.

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30 Days to a Stronger Scene Table of Contents

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Best Length for Scenes?

What’s the best length for a scene? IS there a best length? In his book, Lessons from a Lifetime of Writing, action/adventure author, David Morrell (creator of the Rambo character, among others), says he tries to write short chapters (or we can translate this to scenes, too), so that a reader can complete one chapter (or structural unit, i.e. a scene) at one sitting.

He bases his ideas on two essays by Edgar Allen Poe, The Philosophy of Composition and The Poetic Principle. Poe argues that short scenes/chapters are better because they accommodate the human form which needs to move around. We get up to go to the bathroom, to relieve a hurting back, etc. By keeping scenes short, you will keep the reader turning pages and actually reading every word.

Morrell says he keeps his structural units small in order to accommodate the reader’s bladder, TV interruptions, phone calls, a neighbor who drops in, etc. Poe’s essay is worth reading, as is Morrell’s chapter on “The Tactics of Structure.”

So, there’s not really a right or wrong. I’ve read 30 page scenes and I’ve read 1/3 page scenes. Whatever works. But if in doubt, short is better than longer. (Kinda reminds me of blog posts! Short is often better.)

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30 Days to a Stronger Scene Table of Contents

3 Tips on Writing Love Scenes

Love scenes are integral to the stories we tell whether it’s a boy/girl relationship, or parent/child, or even a kid loves a horse. (Or a whole host of other loving relationships that humans are capable of.) We know these are emotional scenes, sometimes an epiphany, and need careful handling. Here are some ideas.

• Sentimentality. You must walk a fine line between being sappy and being austere. The reader needs to feel the emotions, but not be overwhelmed with them. Make sure actions evoke reactions, which lead to an emotional response. If you get these out of order, the story is likely to veer off into unbelievable territory.
• Balancing Too Many Details and Too Few. We rarely need the mechanical details of sex in order to feel the emotions of a love scene. Instead, a need in a character’s life is met by that special someone. Think internal arcs, but make sure that the scene has the physical beats to back it up.
• Objects Carry Emotion. Put something in Aunt Effie’s hand, say, an iron skillet. That skillet has served meals to her family for the last 37 years. At her funeral, an argument erupts over who gets to inherit that skillet, and when Uncle Joe gives the skillet to his great, great granddaughter, it’s a tender moment of love. Because it’s not just an iron skillet, but a symbol of a 37-year marriage, of life lived to its fullest, of love that has overflowed to the generations.

OK, for those who want more, read The Joy of Writing Sex.

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Wisdom, the Midway Albatross

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