We’ve talked about different points of view and here’s a related idea: different perspectives based on audience. Using any of the three POV choices (Omniscient POV, 1st Person POV, 3rd Person POV), we’ll shift the thinking a bit.

If you are a 16 year old boy and have a car wreck and you want to tell the story of that car wreck, how do you tell the story? Where do you start? What do you emphasize? It depends on the audience. What you tell your best friend, is different from what you tell your Mom. And for sure, you tell the police man something else entirely. Each version could be entirely true. It’s just that given a certain audience, you tailor your storytelling to meet the audience’s needs, interests and well, um, whether or not you’ll get in trouble for emphasizing some small point here or there.

For example, with his best friend the driver might emphasize the risk taking that led to the wreck; he might speak in jargon or use curse words. With his mom, the driver will emphasize how well he obeyed the speed limit, while gloss over his “dancing in the street with his car”; he’ll also play the wreck for sympathy, emphasizing the slightest hurt. With a cop, the driver will be straightforward, business-like in the recitation of details, giving the appearance of cooperation, while glossing over some details.

Each telling will have a different tone, different emotional content, different details.

Today, choose a character from a story you’re writing.
Choose an event.
Have your character tell about that event in three different ways. Actually choose a person to whom they will tell the story and think about how and why you’ll change the story for this person.

Again, this is NOT changing the point of view from 1st to 3rd. Instead, stay in one point of view, but just change the audience–which changes how the story is told. This is Thinking Like a Writer!

BTW, think like a reader, too. A good example of this is Orson Scott Card’s novel, Ender’s Game which is paralleled in Ender’s Shadow. The two books tell the same story, but from perspectives of two different characters.

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For the last two days, we have focused on point of view in your story or novel. Your writing tasks for today–for your “750 words each day in January”–is to practice POV.

Today, focus on 3rd person point of view.

3rd person POV

A 3rd person POV pulls back from the position inside the character’s head to be right beside the character. You see what s/he sees, hear what s/he sees, know the thoughts of the character. But the pronouns are he or she.

Coach scribbled something on his clipboard and she leaned over to see that he was scratching out Jimmy’s name and writing Dave instead. No! He couldn’t sub in Dave, he was lousy at passing. Mary glanced up at the stands, where Jimmy’s mom waved around a video camera. Where had she borrowed it, Mary had no idea. His mom just said, it was Jimmy’s big game, his big break and she had to get it on film. Mary rubbed her temple, the headache still nagging. She wondered about the red pill Jimmy had given her, would it help ease the headache? Or would it make her loopy.

Watch your pronouns: he and she, not I.

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Yesterday, today and tomorrow, we are focusing on point of view in your story or novel. Your writing tasks for the next 2 days for your “750 words each day in January” is to practice POV.

Today, we’ll focus on 1st person point of view.

1st person POV

When the camera resides inside one character’s head and we hear that character speaking it is 1st person: the pronouns used are I, me, my. This POV is great for character novels where the inner life, the emotions, the personality are up front and center.

Coach scribbled something on his clipboard and I leaned over to see that he was scratching out Jimmy’s name and writing Dave instead. No! He couldn’t sub in Dave, he was lousy at passing. I glanced up at the stands, where Jimmy’s mom waved around a huge video camera. Where she had borrowed it, who knows? She just said, it was Jimmy’s big game, his big break, she had to get it on film. I rubbed my temple. Headache still nagging. That red pill Jimmy gave me, would it help? Or would it send me loopy?

Remember: Generally, you must stay in ONE POV choice at a time, not switch. You’ll probably find exceptions to the rule, but it’s a good rule for most situations. If you want to switch within a story, you would switch when you start a new chapter.

Go! Think Like a Writer in first person POV.

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For the recent discussion on focal length of your scene, I accidentally confused a reader. I wrote:

A scan is a way to show a crowd scene economically, yet in an interesting way. It involves a series of small zooms: the quarterback’s mother is taping the game with a new video camera that she borrowed money to buy; the coach’s pencil is hovering over two names, trying to decide if he’ll start the injured quarterback or his backup; the head cheerleader is trying to shake off a headache and wondering if that red pill the quarterback gave her would help or not. In a short paragraph, you get the complexities of the crowd!

READER wrote in to ask about point of view, or POV. When we dip into each person’s head this way, it is omniscient POV. Of course, you can do scans in any point of view, so that’s not the problem. Instead, READER wanted a clearer explanation of POV.

So, your writing tasks for the next 3 days for your 750 words is to practice POV. I’ll explain them here and then ask you to take a day for each POV. Even if you know this, it’s still good to go back and practice Thinking Like a Writer.

When you think about POV, you could ask a simple question: where is the camera?

Omniscient POV.

For the omniscient POV, the camera is overhead, looking at things from an overall perspective and it’s an all-knowing camera. It knows what every character is thinking and can dip in and out of any perspective at any point. The SCAN that I wrote above is omniscient.

1st person POV

When the camera resides inside one character’s head and we hear that character speaking it is 1st person: the pronouns used are I, me, my. This POV is great for character novels where the inner life, the emotions, the personality are up front and center.

Coach scribbled something on his clipboard and I leaned over to see that he was scratching out Jimmy’s name and writing Dave instead. No! He couldn’t sub in Dave, he was lousy at passing. I glanced up at the stands, where Jimmy’s mom waved around a huge video camera. Where she had borrowed it, who knows? She just said, it was Jimmy’s big game, his big break, she had to get it on film. I rubbed my temple. Headache still nagging. That red pill Jimmy gave me, would it help? Or would it send me loopy?

3rd person POV

A 3rd person POV pulls back from the position inside the character’s head to be right beside the character. You see what s/he sees, hear what s/he sees, know the thoughts of the character. But the pronouns are he or she.

Coach scribbled something on his clipboard and she leaned over to see that he was scratching out Jimmy’s name and writing Dave instead. No! He couldn’t sub in Dave, he was lousy at passing. Mary glanced up at the stands, where Jimmy’s mom waved around a video camera. Where had she borrowed it, Mary had no idea. His mom just said, it was Jimmy’s big game, his big break and she had to get it on film. Mary rubbed her temple, the headache still nagging. She wondered about the red pill Jimmy had given her, would it help ease the headache? Or would it make her loopy.

The differences are subtle, but important between 3rd and 1st. 3rd person POV is the most common POV for storytelling and novels today. Use the 1st person POV when you have a unique character with a unique voice. One disadvantage of 1st POV is that you are limited to scenes where the character is present, so you must plot accordingly.

Today, practice writing a scene in Omniscient Voice.
Tomorrow, try 1st person and the next day 3rd. I’ll remind you on the next two days of the ways we are practicing Thinking Like a Writer.

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I’m finally — after two major life events, a grandchild and my daughter’s wedding — ready to start a new novel. I’ve found two mentor texts that I’m hoping will show me something about how to proceed.

Novels to Imitate and Learn From

Educators often use mentor texts when teaching writing to kids. The idea is to choose texts that in some way model the type of writing you want as a result. This means you need a good vision for the end result, or the mentor texts you choose won’t help.

For my new novel, I know that I”ll have quite a few characters and that the POV will probably change often; each section might be quite short; that I might be playing with 3rd person and omniscient POVs. I’ve been looking around and found two that are interesting in this respect.

The first is the 1979 Newbery book, The Westing Game by Ellen Raskin. It features over a dozen characters; it moves in and out of omniscient and 3rd; it has very short sections. Interestingly, Kathi Appelt’s Newbery Honor book, The Underneath, also features multiple characters and she uses short chapters, changing POV often.

Permission and Hope. From these texts, first, I have permission to break the rule of only one main character, one main POV. That’s important. It can be done and done well. Which also gives me hope!

Direction to Start. I’m looking to these two texts as a direction for my first efforts. That does NOT mean I intend to write with a Raskin/Appelt voice. I expect to produce something quite different. Still, this is a place to start.

Reference and Teaching. I hope to learn how to move from POV to POV and keep the pacing fast, interest high, and reader involvement at the maximum. I think it will be helpful to refer to these mentor texts as I write the first draft; but I think it will be even more helpful as I work on revision later.

So, this week, I’m hoping to make a start, write a couple exploratory pieces, outline, work on character sketches. It’s a start.

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More Than One POV? Split to Revise

My current draft of my WIP novel has two point of view characters. I’ve just copied each POV into its own separate file to revise and edit.

• Voice. The main reason for this is to work on getting a consistent voice for each point of view. When they are intertwined, I’m afraid I’m getting them confused, it’s hard to hear each one. In the past, I’ve also done separate files for the dialogue or speech of different novel characters to make sure each sounds unique, yet consistent.



• Chronology. A second reason for new files is to keep the time line straight for each of the novel’s characters. The POV alternates throughout and while I’m reasonable sure that the time line works, this separation will allow me to make sure each character has a significant part in each section of story time.
• Contrast. Finally, I want to make sure there’s a good reason for this alternate POV in this novel. I’m looking for a contrast, or at least something going oblique to the first story line. When the characters throw each other into profile by their contrast, it will be even better.

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My WIP novel has hit a snag. I was just writing along, following the plot I outlined, concentrating on using strong scenes this time, when I came to a curious section.

Choosing a Point of View Character

Here the main character (MC) needs to be housebound because of a flu epidemic. But the plot requires several events to be happening. Fortunately, the secondary character (SC) is still moving around and could do these events, but then there’s the question of whose POV to use?

NOT the MC, because he won’t be there. But I’ve been writing all this story in 3rd person MC’s POV. Now, two-thirds of the way into the story, I need to use the SC’s POV. And it came out in 1st person. OK. That can happen. A story can have some chapters in 3rd, some in 1st. But then, I rewrote the SC’s POV, trying for an edgier voice and — WOW, I found a great voice for this story.

I’ve been trusting the process to find the voice I needed for the story and suddenly, there it is. But it’s in the SC’s POV. I’ve tried the Voice in the MC’s POV and it works. But does that mean I’ll write alternating POV chapters? If so, how do I distinguish between the MC’s and SC’s voices?

So, I’m struggling. I can’t move on until I make some decisions, because POV and Voice determine so much of a story. It’s not a matter of just “translating” what I’ve done into the new Voice.

Voice Trumps Everything

At this point, I’ve got to revisit some basic decisions about the story, because Voice trumps everything.

So, here are some of the basic questions I’m re-visiting:

• Whose story is this? Who hurts the most and has the most at stake?
• Will the story work with alternating POV? If so, who is the lead character?
• What is the main story I want to tell? If I add in the SC’s POV, then how much more story development does that POV need? I would imagine lots, but the story is already long enough and doesn’t need more length. I’ll need to refocus the story.
• Can I return to what I’ve already got, but replot so the MC can be moving around during that flu epidemic? Do I really need to do all this change? If I stick with the original, will the Voice change be enough? Will it really work for the MC, instead of the SC, where it originally arose?

It’s unsettling times for this story, but there’s no looking back. Voice trumps everything, so I’ve got to tackle this head on and not avoid it. It’s a major detour, but a necessary one.

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First person point of view stories are introspective, selfish, all about me, me, me. Before you write or revise a novel using this POV, you should ask youself a couple questions.

It’s All About Me, Me, Me.

1. Main Character or Observer. Is the POV character the main character or an observer? Often it’s assumed that a first person account has to in the voice of the main character, but that’s not so. It could easily be a sidekick, a sibling, or an enemy telling what happened to a main character. Before you automatically decide that the main character must be the POV character, look around your cast and see if anyone else wants to tell this story from his/her POV.
2. Present in Every Scene. Will the POV character be in every crucial scene? For this POV to work, the POV character must be there. It’s not fair to your readers to report crucial scenes secondhand, UNLESS, the scene itself isn’t as important as the impact of the events on a character. If your POV character is knocked out, asleep, doped up, in another state, visiting relatives, or just plain missing-in-action, s/he can’t narrate the scene effectively. Make sure your plot works with this POV.
3. Compelling, Sustainable Voice.
   Can you create a compelling voice that sounds like an individual character? Can you sustain that voice over an entire novel? While I loved the beginning of Meg Rosoff’s, How I Live Now her POV was wearing because of long sentences and variable punctuation. It was a compelling voice–at first. But, for me, it didn’t sustain its interest over the length of the novel. (Of course, it won the 2005 Printz award, so others disagree. ) (This novel is also available in a Kindle version, if you’re interested!)

   For your novel, make sure it’s both a compelling voice, and that it sustains that over the course of the novel.

4. Reliable Narrator. Is the POV character a reliable narrator? Ah, this is one of the interesting variations of a first person POV. We have a narrator who lies, who shades the truth, who exaggerates, who uses this opportunity to re-write history. If you’re thinking in those directions, this is the perfect POV.
5. Compelling Reasons? Are there compelling reasons for this POV instead of the default third person POV?
   Really. You should be writing in third person POV. Why are you trying first? But if your only reason is that you just thought you’d try it, or the voice is vaguely easier, or it just happened–you might want to rethink. Some answers that make sense: the reader will feel the actions more immediately; the reader will understand the motivations and emotions of the story in a deeper way; unreliable narrator.

   What are your compelling reasons for using a first person POV?

Read more of 15 Days to a Stronger Character.

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When you write a novel, or revise a novel, the default point-of-view and the most common used is third person. (Though, first person point of view is giving it a run for its money these days. )

The Versatile Point of View

Think about point of view as a camera. In the 3rd person POV, the camera is above a person’s head and you see and hear and experience only what that character can see, hear, experience. That’s pretty easy. The tricky part is the emotional distance of the text. That is, are you so closely aligned with the character that you can say their thoughts and the reader understands that it is the character’s thoughts.

It’s like zooms and pans. With 3rd person, there are times when the POV backs up and gives an overview of the action, a panorama, and almost verges on crossing into an omniscient voice. At other times, the POV goes so tight and deep, a zoom, that you’re close to the 1st person POV.

Which is why I like 3rd person POV. It can very close to omniscient, yet, the next page, very close to 1st and still work. In fact, you can actually cross over into omniscient and it works smoothly and seamlessly. You can’t quite cross over into 1st, but you can create a close imitation. It’s the most versatile POV.

Read more of 15 Days to a Stronger Character.

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L asks: “Do you think an author’s ‘voice’ is easier to establish when a novel is written in 3rd POV omniscient than in 1st POV?

Just asking because in the writing of my current WIP novel, I felt that I had to find and stick with the MC’s voice, and now in the polishing – revising stage I find that my ‘voice’ comes in from time to time- I think. Mostly in some of the narration- where I’m trying to balance the ‘tone of voice’”

Author’s voice”

I’m not sure what you mean by “author’s voice.” Do you mean the narrator of the novel? If there’s a narrator, s/he can have a voice that comes through, showing some personality, too. But usually, it’s clear that there is a separate person as a narrator.

I think, instead, though, that you are referring to the overall voice of a novel or short story. Voice refers to the overall effect of the writing in the story, that lets the reader know something about the personality behind the writing. Authors vary this voice for each story or novel or book. And part of what you are talking about is consistency of that voice. You’re finding difficulty knowing how to self-edit for consistency: would that be an accurate summary of the problem?

Main Character’s Voice

Writing in the voice of the main character is one common way to approach the voice of a novel. It sounds like you’ve found ways to make this novel very personal to the main character. That’s good. If you choose to write in 1st person POV, then it should be a distinctive voice, never heard before. Quirky tics, individual vocabulary and phrasing, an opinion about everything.

This voice would need to come through in the dialogue, narration, action–everything in the novel or story. It establishes the “tone of voice,” which I look at as the narrator’s attitudes toward everything.

It’s interesting that you say “my voice comes through.” By that, I assume you mean that your natural way of talking/writing and your attitudes? If so, then, take yourself out of the Main Character’s story. It should all be filtered through the lens of the MC.

But I wonder about the “tone of voice” that worries you. Are you trying to establish a certain feeling or mood in the novel? Or a certain attitude towards something?

All of this demonstrates the difficulty of talking about novel revision! What is voice? What is tone of voice? How do we distinguish between them when they are so enmeshed in the words we’ve chosen? How do we edit for voice consistency? I’ve been trying to talk about this on the Voice Friday postings, but it’s not clear cut as we’d like it to be.

1st v. 3rd POV

1st person is such a common choice for novels today. At the recent Phoenix Novel Revision Retreat, 14 out of 20 people were writing their novels in 1st person. I wonder why that is–any ideas?

I’ve always considered 1st person pov to be the second choice I consider for a novel. There needs to be a reason why it should be told in this person’s voice. Overall, in the mss I see, the 1st person stories tend to run together, without a distinctive voice. If you choose this option, my advice (and opinions vary widely) is to go way out and be wild, at least in the first draft. Make it wildly distinctive.

Third person omniscient is an odd choice, too for a novel, (though it works in Harry Potter) because the author can dip into any character’s head at any time. Usually readers want to identify with a novel’s character closely, and this head-hopping makes it harder. It does reveal motives of everyone across the story, so in that respect, you understand the novel better.

For my novels, I usually prefer a close third person in which the camera is firmly in my main character’s head. Events unfold with the character closely involved in everything.

I don’t think any POV is easier than any other. Some writers prefer 1st and find it more natural; others prefer 3rd. For me, it’s not a matter of which is easier, but which helps me tell this particular story, write this particular novel, in the more dramatic, tension-filled, emotional way.

L, I probably didn’t answer your question, because I needed you sitting beside me to ask for clarification.

But I think , this discussion points out two things: first, it shows that we all (myself included!) need better understanding of terminology of our craft. It’s frustrating that when I ask a group of 100 writers to describe the voice of a novel, we are all silent because we don’t have the vocabulary to do so. We have all been told that voice is so hard to describe, but an editor “knows it when s/he hears it.” That puts voice at the whim of our unreliable intuition, puts it out of our reach in revising our novels.

But there’s a second thing, too. Obviously, something is bothering you about sections of your revised novel and you’re right to be careful about it. Sometimes, putting a finger on what exactly is going on is hard–even when we do know the terminology. Writing stories and novels isn’t an “exact science,” but a craft; sometimes, understanding DOES comes in an intuitive moment. When I’m in a situation like this where I know something is wrong, but I don’t know what, there’s nothing to do but keep trying to figure it out and not let it slide. That doesn’t mean that intuition is the only tool I have to work on voice, though. I can approach it in a controlled way, while still allowing for intuition to show up and support the work I’ve done!

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Wisdom, the Midway Albatross

by Darcy Pattison

Giveaway ends March 11, 2012.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

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