Stop! Before you send out that picture book manuscript, cut it by at least one-third. Really. Make that revision.

Biggest Mistake in Picture Book Manuscripts

I recently read a picture book manuscript from a novice writer and it had the usual problem: too long.

In a picture book manuscript, every word counts, so you must test each and every word to see if it belongs there. Here are four places to cut:

• Repetitive words. Never, never repeat a word unless you absolutely must, or unless it adds to the story. Sure, when you write a first draft, you often repeat something by accident. But you should go through a picture book manuscript with a fine-toothed comb to make sure you’ve cut out any extras.
• Adjectives, Adverbs. Picture books need action; leave adjectives to the illustrator. Because it includes illustrations, you should only include the adjectives that make a difference. Grass is green. Duh. Only use adjective if, for example, your grass is purple.

  For adverbs, please replace them with a stronger verb.

  • The boy walked slowly.
  • The boy limped.
• Clauses, Prepositional Phrases. Leave out the extra commentary (unless it’s part of the mss’ voice).
  • Well, in the end, it was a day that pleased me greatly.
  • I enjoyed the day.

  Try rephrasing prepositional phrases by moving a word to an adjective position:

  • It was a day of joy.
  • It was a joyful day.
• Dialogue. Dialogue is unlike real speech; it’s compressed speech. Leave out the pleasantries and get to the heart of the conversation.

• Hello.
  Hello.
  Why are you so late? I was waiting and waiting, just sitting on this bench, waiting for you. Why are you so late?
  Well, I had a flat tire and I couldn’t get the lug nuts loose. So I had to wait until a policeman stopped. He was really nice, a big tall policeman and he was strong enough to loosen the bolts and finally I got the tire changed.
  Oh.
  Yes, well, I’m sorry I was so late.

• Hey, what’s up? Why so late?
  Sorry. I had a flat and couldn’t change it by myself. A cop stopped and helped and now, I’m here.

STOP! Cut Your Mss by 1/3. At Least!

Before you send out your mss, try to cut it by 1/3 without changing the story. Then try to cut another 50-100 words. Compare the before and after. If the story has changed (for the worse), you can add back a few words; but I’ll wager that the story will be much stronger with the revision.

While there are no hard and fast rules, picture books that run 500 words or less tend to sell better. For pre-school stories it’s a stricter limit than for school age (K-3).

Need more on how to write a children’s picture book? See our eBook, How to Write a Picture Book. Immediate download. $10.

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Wisdom, the Midway Albatross

by Darcy Pattison

Giveaway ends March 11, 2012.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

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When you have a full text of a picture book, it’s time to PLAY! After all, this is just a story for kids, right? Here are two ways to play with your story. You’ll be amazed at what you find out about the story when you do this:

Cut in Picture Book Text in Half

Count the number of words in the original. Write the story with EXACTLY half as many words as the original. Write it again with EXACTLY twice as many words. Notice what happens when you compress or expand a story.

When you edited out half the words, what’s left? Is the story gutted? Or just the descriptions? Did you manage to salvage the story at all?

Some things you might discover:

• You don’t need a character, a scene, a piece of dialogue.
• You cut out prepositional phrases in favor of adjectives.
• You cut adjectives and adverbs in favor of stronger, more exact nouns and verbs.
• The story is stronger when it’s shorter.
• The story lacks the emotional punch when it’s shorter.
• Cutting totally changes the story (for better or worse).

Usually, cutting a story in half is cutting too much, something is lost: action, characterization, language play. But usually, the story is stronger in many ways, too, because you were forced to evaluate every single word. Picture books allow for no fat!

The next draft of your picture book will probably be somewhere between your original draft and the half-length draft. Work with the text and story, trying to keep the writing as tight as possible, but still tell the story and tell it in the best way.

Work with the draft -editing, cutting and rearranging -until you are satisfied, then come back for the rest of this painful lesson.

Next, do Micro-cuts.

How to Write a Children’s Picture Book A Fiction Notes Ebook 110 pages packed with information. Everything in one, easy-to-read format. Instant access!

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Wisdom, the Midway Albatross

by Darcy Pattison

Giveaway ends March 11, 2012.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

Enter to win