When I teach Novel Revision Retreats, I need a variety of ways to explain this thing called “revision.” Lately, two ideas have helped.

Plot: Aiming for Bull’s Eye

There are two things novelists must do when writing a story. First is figure out “what story are you telling?” Second is “what is the best way to tell that story?”

What story are you Telling. This is a plot question.
Especially when talking about the plot of a novel, a metaphor that helps me is to think of a draft as an arrow that hits a target. The first draft is way off bull’s eye. The second draft hits one ring closer to the center because you focused on selecting great scenes, revised those scenes, layered plot layers and subplots, all the while avoiding the most common pitfalls. Successive drafts should sharpen your aim, until you’re hitting in the red circle. Many stories sell successfully when they just hit that red circle in the middle; the really great stories hit smack in the middle of the bull’s eye. It’s worth that last revision to try to hit exact center.

Voice and Character: Sharpen the Focus

What is the Best Way to Tell This Story? The second question is about voice and character.

Generic descriptions, no inner life and a so-so voice — these are indications that your camera lenses needs to be focused. You can do this with great sensory details, showing the character’s attitudes, thoughts, emotions, and by careful attention to language. Each successive draft should sharpen the focus on your character and how s/he views life, in particular, the events of this story. Like hitting bull’s eye, don’t be satisfied with almost-in-focus; work until each detail is sharp and crisp, revealing the inner life of your character.

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I’m waiting for critiques from four readers on the second draft of my novel. I know what I think needs work, and it will be interesting to see if the readers agree.

Meanwhile:

Between Drafts

Despair v. Hope. I’m vacillating between hope and despair. My gut tells me this draft is a big improvement, but my inner critic is harsh. I don’t know if I should hide my head in shame or tall taller with pleasure in what I’ve done.

Cleaning the office. Yes, that chore got done. Sorta. I’m doing neglected chores, like filing, updating my bio on various websites, planning holiday meals, and actually reading.

Shorter pieces. I’m working on some shorter pieces. I’ve had a nf article accepted by Highlights, I’m working on another short project, and I’m re-reading almost every failed picture mss in my files to see if I know how to fix any of them. I wrote a piece for our regional SCBWI newsletter. These aren’t time-wasters, but important things which just get muscled out of the way by the heftier novel. I’m glad to be playing with the chihuahuas for a change.

Preparing Emotionally for the Next Draft. I’m getting ready emotionally to “kill my darlings,” to give up my attachment to the current plot and form of the novel if needed, and to dig in and work hard.

COMING AUGUST 15:. The Book Trailer Manual. Click to read about it.

Finding the Best Way to Tell a Story

First drafts are for finding out what story you are telling. Second and subsequent drafts are for finding the best way to tell that story.

I finished a second draft yesterday and someone asked what I concentrated on in that draft. Basically, refining the story and exploring options for telling it.

Specificially, I worked on these things:

Facts: I had several experts in child behavior read the mss and saw that there were several checks on the reality of my situations. I’m dealing with kids in foster care, so I had to look up state laws, read manuals for foster parents, etc. Then, replot with that in mind.

Plot: There were major plot holes that needed to be addressed. The climax of a major subplot had to be totally overhauled because of the factual corrections. Smaller plot holes had to be filled.

Transitions: Often there were abrupt changes from scene to scene, without enough details for the reader to follow when/where/what.

Character: Motivations were unclear. I added more internal thoughts, backstory, and discussion of events. It’s a delicate balance to keep the story moving, yet make it clear. This draft, I concentrated on making it clear. If my readers want me to be more delicate on the next draft, I can do that.

Villain: The villain was too cut and dried and needed some softening.

Voice: OK, I’m doing that hard thing of alternating voices. So, I had to make each voice distinctive and stay consistent within each voice. I’m sure there’s more to do here with consistency, but this is a good start.

Setting: There’s still some work to do on portraying this specific school and community, but it’s pretty good now.

Clarity: Above all, I tried to get the story out of my head and onto paper with more exactness and completeness.

So, the first draft blocked in the major elements, this draft refined them. I’ll need at least one more draft to refine and to add highlights.

Plan for Third Draft

Specifically, I want to work on consistent voice, refining the language, clearing up any remaining plot problems, keeping a balance of action and internal motivations, making sure Darcy-the-author stays out of the story and the kids are really kids, cutting about 10,000 words (It’s about 60,000 right now and I think 50,000 would be better), and keeping the pace taut.

I already want to start on the consistency of the voice, but I think I’ll try to wait a couple days, so I have fresher eyes. But I won’t let a lot of time pass, or I’ll lose momentum, especially with the holidays.

COMING AUGUST 15:. The Book Trailer Manual. Click to read about it.

Write a Story

To write the first draft of a picture book text, just write a story. That’s is. Just like you would normally write any story. Keep in mind that you want it to be short and you’ll leae visual details to the illustrator, but, otherwise, write the story.

Don’t Worry About These 3 Things

1. Vocabulary. Picture book vocabulary doesn’t have to be limited, because usually an adult is reading the story to a child. Don’t limit yourself on this first draft.

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COMING AUGUST 15:. The Book Trailer Manual. Click to read about it.