4 Ways to Slim Down Your Novel

After reading over the first section of the novel that I’ve just revised, I realize that I want to cut some of it. It’s not bad the way it is, but cutting 10-20% will help.

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Beats. One way to do this is to look at the individual beats or actions within a scene. Is each one necessary? Can I shorten each scene in the novel by 10%?

Cut scenes. I also realize that I might could cut one small scene entirely. The problem is that this scene is in the alternate POV, so if I cut it, then I have to give this character a different POV-scene.

Combine scenes. I don’t want too much going on in one scene, it needs to stay focused. But there might be one or two scenes that don’t have a sharp enough focus in this novel. If I take the narrative parts, information that needs to be given to the reader, and put that into other scenes, spread it around, I might be able to eliminate a scene.

Brisker Prose, Please. One critiquer of a novel manuscript asked for, “Brisker prose, please.” This is partly using great verbs, cutting adjectives, etc. But it’s also about writing tighter overall.

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Giveaway ends March 11, 2012.

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10 Ways to Start the Process of Re-Envisioning

How do you start revisions? You’ve got a great draft, and it’s pretty settled in your mind that this is how the story happens. BUT, readers aren’t thrilled with it. Editors and agents pass it by with a nice personal letter. Great, you think. There’s something here, but it’s not quite right. How do you start the process of re-envisioning such a story?

Some suggestions:

1. Add, subtract or combine characters. Add a new best friend, or a new villain. Take out a character who has supported the antagonist, leaving the antagonist to his/her own devices. Combine two friends into one, especially when it will combine contrasting characteristics in a quirky way.
2. Give a character a definite attitude. Find a certain scene that troubles you and do this: give one of the characters a definite attitude about what is happening. The character loves the current event, despises it, wishes his sister were here to deal with it, – anything. Give the second character a competing, but not opposite point of view: this character also knows the sister would do a better job of things, but is determined to do it herself, without sister’s help. Now, re-write, focusing especially on the dialogue.
3. Switch POV. Write a scene from a different point of view and see where it takes you.
4. Change setting. Put the scene in a different setting, a different time of day or season. What changes? What is possible in the desert is not possible on the beach! What difference does this setting make to the story?
5. Cut the first three chapters. Begin the story at chapter four and make it work; don’t allow any back story to come into the story until page 100.
6. Question assumptions about characters. Yes, Snively Whiplash is still the villain, but maybe he sings rock music and you never even knew it. And he’s striking back right now against your character because at a Karaoke, the antagonist didn’t recognize Whiplash in his disguise and actually laughed at his singing. OK. A bit melodramatic (Snively does that to a story!), but you get the idea. Have you assumed a character is all good or all bad? Find the opposite quality in him or her. Question something basic about one or more characters and carry it to the logical extreme.
7. Raise the Stakes. How can you make the outcome of a scene matter more to the antagonist or protagonist? The lost necklace belonged to Melanie’s grandmother, who brought it from Poland when she fled the Nazi regime. It had been given to her by her fiance before he went off to war and was never seen again. THAT is the missing necklace and it matters deeply to Melanie, who loved that grandmother. Or, make the stakes broader, with wider effects: the fire set by Jimmy and Prissy in the woods has spread and now threatens the whole community.
8. Rethink the Plot Complications. What obstacles does the main character confront? Can you add one more, in the form of a subplot? Try to change the obstacles in intensity, scale, or sheer amount of aggravation. Instead of one puny kid objecting to the character’s call as a soccer referee, let the biggest kid argue the call; or let the whole team gather round our poor character and let him talk his way out of that one! Or, instead, the whole team heckles him throughout the rest of the game, nothing enough to get them thrown out, but enough to aggravate.
9. Drastic Rewrite #1: Retype the whole manuscript, with the idea that you must change something on every page as you rewrite. But when a revision takes off, follow it and give it free rein.
10. Drastic Rewrite #2: Put the manuscript in a drawer and open a new computer file or take out new notebook paper. Tell the story again, without looking at the first telling. Do this chapter by chapter if you have to until some new idea takes hold, and then go with it.

Caution: NEVER delete an old manuscript or type over it. always keep a copy, in case you need to go back to it. Often changes go too far and you need to back track some. The previous drafts are helpful to remind you of the options you have already explored and which worked and which didn’t.

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Wisdom, the Midway Albatross

by Darcy Pattison

Giveaway ends March 11, 2012.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

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Guest blogger, Joni Sensel writes about cutting her story so much that two books became one. I read an ARC of this new book and loved it — the novel revisions worked!

Why Cut Out Important Parts of a Novel?

Originally I thought my new middle-grade adventure, THE FARWALKER’S QUEST, would be two books of a trilogy, in part because the first draft was 121,000 words.

Cut out 20,000 words. Nope. Among my agent’s earliest feedback was that I needed to combine the two halves, prop up sags, and try to get it under 100,000 words. Once I managed that, my editor wanted it trimmed even farther. The final book is just under 93,000 words. Though I wouldn’t have thought it possible when I started, I cut more than 20% from the original and upped the pace considerably. In the process, I learned to rely on several techniques that go beyond the standard advice to slash adverbs or use one perfect description rather than three. Even if you’re not as long-winded as I am, cutting virtually always increases pace, and few stories suffer from too fast a pace.

6 Techniques for Cutting a Novel’s Length

• Use chapter breaks. What can you leave out between chapters? THE MARK OF THE HORSELORD by Rosemary Sutcliff taught me a huge lesson. This favorite of mine makes huge leaps in story time between the end of one chapter and the start of the next. In some cases, she left out things I wanted to see. (But did I need to see them? Obviously not.) Generally, it worked well and kept the action hopping. I think we tend to live with our characters minute by minute, but readers only need the relevant moments. Examine your manuscript with the big picture and key events in mind, and give your readers credit for being able to make accurate assumptions about what happens in the interim. This approach helped me cut some of the travel with my characters from one plot point, mood, or physical location to the next.
• Similarly, rethink scene transitions. My favorite screenwriting trick is to start scenes later and leave them sooner. Readers will correctly assume the mundane things that happened before or after the good (unexpected) stuff. For instance, if we know the main character plans to or is headed to visit another, that scene can begin with an important line of dialogue from the middle of their conversation instead of the arrival and broaching of the subject. You’ll still need transitions, of course, but you can cut significantly this way.
• Streamline action details. Particularly in scenes of physical action — for instance, a scene in which Ariel has a knife at her throat — I have a tendency to imagine and write what’s happening in great detail because I don’t want the reader confused. But with prodding, I’ve realized that sometimes, details obscure. A firm suggestion to shorten the scene often reveals that I’m telling the reader things they’d assume anyway. When those details are removed, the action feels more intense because the whole scene moves faster.
• Remove dialogue attributions (“he said”) in favor of action lines that, if not already there, are often not far away and can be moved. For instance, “Scarl!” Ariel called. He looked up. She ran forward.” can become “Scarl!” Ariel ran forward. Attributions for longer lines of dialogue can be less obvious but just as easy to cut. They add up.
• It can be okay to tell. Both editors I’ve worked with have told me, in essence, “Sometimes I wish ‘show, don’t tell,’ had never been invented.” Writers who have already learned to do a good job of showing can save words by occasionally telling. Choose judiciously. Sometimes, Ariel didn’t need to have her skin go clammy and the nape of her neck prickle — she could just be scared.
• Do multiple passes. Even after I think I’ve squeezed out every spare word, I still see more I can live without. Would I prefer to keep that word or line? Sometimes, yes, but I choose my battles. Other times I can see immediately that shorter is sweeter. The reward has been readers who have told me my books were page-turners. Hearing those words makes it worth cutting a few thousand others.

— Joni Sensel

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Wisdom, the Midway Albatross

by Darcy Pattison

Giveaway ends March 11, 2012.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

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You’ve made some major changes in your text, but it’s time for micro-changes.

Examples of microcuts and microchanges

Micro-cuts

Once you’re happy with your text, go back and edit out another 100 words. Again, it’s an arbitrary number, but it works so well. Think of this as a poem, which is the tightest writing possible. Nothing extra, but nothing left out. See here for more on micro-cuts.

• Instead of a prepositional phrase, use an adjective: While you’re at it, replace to be verbs with stronger verbs.
  The tree with the apples was big/The apple tree loomed.
• Unless it’s part of the voice, cut out introductory words. While you’re at it, sharpen details. While you’re at it, replace to be verbs with stronger verbs.
  Well, it was a nice day/The sun gleamed.
• Replace weak nouns with specific nouns. While you’re at it, replace “to be” verbs with stronger verbs.
  The dog barked/The poodle yapped.

  PASTICHE OR BORROWING FROM OTHERS

  Look around for picture books you admire. When you find one, rewrite your story in the same voice and style as the admired book. Do at least once, but repeat as many times as you can.
  Some things you might learn:

  • Your voice is bland, or excitable, or unique.
  • The story changes because of a different voice/style.
  • The appropriate age of the reader changes as the voice/style change.
  • Your default style has too much (adjectives, to be verbs, visual description, etc.)

  ADD WORD PLAY

  Read Alexis O’Neill’s book, The Recess Queen. It’s a great example of playing with language. It turns a didactic story about bullies into a piece of literature that I’d read to anyone. In fact, when my college freshman students had to write an essay about bullies, I read it to them.

  ACTION POINTS

  Revise! This is where the fun comes in, so revise and revise and revise.

  How to Write a Children’s Picture Book A Fiction Notes Ebook 110 pages packed with information. Everything in one, easy-to-read format. Instant access!

  
  
  
  
  

  Goodreads Book Giveaway

  

  Wisdom, the Midway Albatross

  by Darcy Pattison

  Giveaway ends March 11, 2012.

  See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

  Enter to win
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