I’m working on a novel and have just gotten a couple rounds of feedback from friends. Here’s what I noticed.

They didn’t give me the answer I wanted!

Be Open. I wanted them to say that this version was perfect, ready to send out. What they said was:
Are you sure this should be chapter 2 and not chapter 3?
Are you sure that you want to start the chapter this way?
Are you sure that you want to end the chapter this way?
If you do X, then later it will mean Y or Z. Are you sure you want that?

Notice: They are not telling me that I must change anything! They are merely giving me a professional opinion about what might need a second look.

Sigh. Good friends, aren’t they? They don’t let me get by with mediocre.

They Let Me Ask Questions

Accept Ultimate Responsibility. I have no idea where it started, this idea that authors should sit quietly and “take criticism.” It’s ridiculous. At least, to me.

No, I’m not arguing and saying that YOU are wrong. Of course, you’re just giving me “your opinion.” Of course, I need to know what you, as the reader, were feeling and experiencing as you read.

That’s great. But what I ALSO need is to understand exactly what you mean when you say, “I didn’t like that part.”

I need to ask questions to clarify the feedback, or the feedback is pointless to me. Did you not like it because you–personally–hate dogs and would never voluntarily read about them? Or did you not like it because the pacing was off? Or was it a single word choice that would make a difference?

Did you pick up on something in the last chapter that leaves you expecting something here? If so, can I change that bit in the last chapter and make this work here? Or, do you really think I must change this bit here?

There are so many, many variables in writing fiction: everything builds on what was done before and the choice of WHERE to revise is open; everything builds on the interconnections between ideas and language and the choice of WHERE to revise is open.

How can I make a wise choice, if I don’t understand exactly–with a great deal of precision–where the problem lies?

Fortunately, my friends let me “argue.” I need that.

The Ultimate Choices are Mine: I Appreciate the Help

Be Thankful. In the end, though, my friends also leave the choices with me, as it should be. This is my story and it’s my vision for the story that matters. They suggest, prod, try to veto, nudge and encourage. That’s all they can do. In the end, it’s me and the words on the page. But thanks friends, for those nudges. I need those to keep going!

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Wisdom, the Midway Albatross

by Darcy Pattison

Giveaway ends March 11, 2012.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

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Critiques lead to Zine

Guest post by Anne Marie Pace

The members of our critique group, The Funky Ducklings, had known each other online for years, but July, 2008, was the first time most of us were able to meet in real-life. After a year of planning, we finally came together with some other writer friends at the Highlights Foundation’s facility in Boyds Mill, Pennsylvania. We came from all over the United States and Canada, and one member even came from Brazil.

As the week progressed, a schedule evolved in which we wrote on our own during the day, but at 4:00 each afternoon, we met to talk about our writing and about books. This sharing time became special to us, and even after our time in Pennsylvania had ended, we maintained contact through email and continued talking about books we love. All of us have kids, and sharing wonderful books with kids was something we did easily as parents and as writers (and for some of us, as teachers or homeschoolers).

Extending the Book Talk

In the spring of 2010, we embarked on a new adventure together–we began to publish our free email monthly newsletter, The 4:00 Book Hook. It was a logical step, both in terms of broadening our book conversation and sharing our writing with others (both our book talks and our own published books). We planned to provide quality content about quality books of all genres—picture books, chapter books, middle-grade and young adult novels, nonfiction for all ages, and poetry, as well as activities that extend the reading experience. Thus we launched our first issue in May, 2010, and we’ve published monthly since then.

You might ask why The 4:00 Book Hook is different from any other online review source. It’s true that each issue covers one of our own books. If a person reads that book as a result of learning about it from our newsletter, of course we are thrilled. But we don’t want the Book Hook to be an advertisement; rather, it’s a labor of love–an extension of our own book talk and our experiences with our kids and books.

Each issue contains:

• ARTICLES
  - For example, we’ve included an interview with fathers about reading to their children and an essay about choosing facts to be included and omitted in non fiction books
• REVIEWS
  - Each issue has a full page of book reviews, plus lengthier book review features linked to activities or websites of interest.
• LINKS
  - There are too many wonderful resources. We’ve done some of the work for you so you don’t have to face Google. We’ve linked to great sites about NASA, building submarines, animal enrichments, teacher guides–the list is as eclectic as our issues.
• EASY ACTIVITIES OR RECIPES
  - Honey dingies, Brazilian cheese bread, and nature bracelets are just the tip of the iceberg!

We’re aiming for the best of both worlds–both book talk and the fun reading brings to our lives.

We’ve been amazed at how quickly our readership has grown; our audience consists of parents, grandparents, teachers, librarians, homeschoolers and writers. And we’ve been thrilled at the response.

Sample Issues: Download sample issues of The 4:00 Book Hook, at http://www.annemariepace.com/Site/The_4_00_Book_Hook.html

Subscribe: Just send an email to thebookhook@gmail.com. No subject line or content required.

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Wisdom, the Midway Albatross

by Darcy Pattison

Giveaway ends March 11, 2012.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

Enter to win

For more information on the Random Acts of Publicity Week, see this post or the Facebook Event page.

Today’s task for Random Acts of Publicity: Post a review of a book somewhere. Your blog, GoodReads, Amazon, a school newsletter, a bulletin board. Anywhere.

Amazon Reviews

Are you like many authors, always intending to post a review on Amazon, but haven’t taken the leap yet? Here’s something to think about.

2x: Experts are twice as likely to share information. Why should you, an author (or aspiring author), review a book for someone else? Because as an author, you’re an expert on literature. Studies of word-of-mouth promotions say that experts usually tell twice as many people about something they liked. You are more likely to talk up a book than the normal Amazon shopper simply because you are an expert.

What to Put in an Amazon Review

OK. But what do you write about in a review?
Your honest opinion about the book! That’s it.

Short 50-300 word reviews will work best, something short enough to scan easily. Usually people reading the reviews want a quick glance at what others are saying.

You can also post videos, reviewing a book. Tape yourself talking about the book and upload it, following their instructions.

How to Post an Amazon Review

I suggest you write your review before you go to visit Amazon. That way, you can revise and edit until it’s right. Once you get to Amazon, you can just cut and paste.

• If you don’t have an account with Amazon, you’ll have to create one. There should be a link for this on the front page.
• To post a review, go to the page for the book you want to review and scroll down to the reviews. On the right hand side just above the other reviews, you’ll see a button that says, “Create Your Own Review.” Click on that.
• It will ask you to confirm that you are over 13, to rate the title, and give your review a title.
• Below these questions is a box for you to either write in, or to cut and paste your review.
• Notice a couple things.
  • Product Links. You can use the insert a product link to link to other books/products if you want. That means you can add links to other titles by the author, if you want to.
  • Tags. The Tags are important to fill out, too because they help the book get found by Amazon’s search by topics. The more times reviewers agree that this book is appropriate for this topic, the more likely it is to be in the top search entries.
  • Video Reviews. Also, notice that they accept video reviews! Haven’t done that myself yet, but I want to on a couple books.
• Preview the Review. If all looks well – click to post it!
• If needed, you can come back at any point to edit the review.

Today’s task for Random Acts of Publicity: Post a review of a book somewhere. Your blog, GoodReads, Amazon, a school newsletter, a bulletin board. Anywhere.

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Wisdom, the Midway Albatross

by Darcy Pattison

Giveaway ends March 11, 2012.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

Enter to win

Whole mss critique or chapter at a time critique?

I went to Idaho this weekend for a Novel Revision Retreat.

Whole mss critique. One thing I like about the Novel Revision Retreat is that it is set up to get feedback on an entire novel.

Upper Mesa Falls, Henry's Fork, Snake River, Idaho. Near the location for our Idaho retreat.

I understand why critique groups do this type of schedule and I’m not discouraging it. This is valuable feedback, especially for line editing.

However, a full novel critique is also essential. Here, you look not so much at how well a chapter looks but how the story plays out over many pages. This lets you look at narrative arc, emotional arc, pacing, gaps in the story, continuity issues and so much more.

Indepth Feedback.The second thing the Novel Revision Retreat does is give you in-depth feedback on your entire novel. We cover about 8 areas of writing a novel, everything from characterization and dialogue to pacing. Then, there’s a group session in which the group discusses each novel in turn for how well the novel performs on the current topic. In depth feedback is invaluable. The number of group sessions allows some trust to build up and for a certain honesty to evolve. Certainly, the writers don’t agree with everything said in a group, but at least they’ve heard three different opinions.

In-depth feedback on a whole novel – it’s the best thing about the Novel Revision Retreat. You can do the same thing by agreeing to critique a whole novel from each member once a group. Or maybe you need a special critique group just for novelists. I’ve been a member of a special novel critique group. We have only four members, and have agreed to critique 2 full novels from each member each year. In reality, we usually just do one from each a year. But even if it was 2/year, that’s only 6 novels I’ve agreed to critique. It’s a workable solution to the need for a whole manuscript critique.

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Wisdom, the Midway Albatross

by Darcy Pattison

Giveaway ends March 11, 2012.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

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UnBlinded: Revising the Second Draft

419 Specific Comments

I’ve just gotten back two critiques on the second draft of my WIP novel. 419 specific comments. I’m excited.

• Larger concerns. Each critique was accompanied by a letter with larger concerns. Both are still concerned that the characterization needs work. One would like a stronger opening and one thinks a subplot is off-kilter. Those will get my attention first and foremost in this revision. But after two drafts, this third draft needs attention to the finer details.



• Specific comments. One critiquer was kind enough to say my sentences were beautifully written. But she still had hundreds of specific comments:
  • Characters weren’t believable in what they said or did.
  • Motivations were unclear.
  • Motivations were clear, but a bit more detail would help make it even clearer.
  • Awkward wording.
  • Actions needed clarification.
  • Continuity questions – if this happened on p. 12, then why this on p. 23?
  • Minor spelling and grammar typos (of course, not errors! Just typos!)
  • Suggested deletions.
  • Suggested rewordings.
  • Character questions to me, the author. Does this character really care about this?
  • Asking for more reaction from a character.
  • Needs better grounding in the scene – where are we? On foot? In a car?
  • Questions of logic.

Different from an Editor’s Revision Letter

One friend reminded me that this is SO different from an editor’s letter requesting revision.

• Argue. For one thing, I am free to argue with, question, or ignore the critique’s specific suggestions. She’s great at letting me argue, until she says something a different way and the light breaks through my thick skull. I know it’s common for critiques to be set up NOT to allow arguing, but I need it. Simply telling me what’s wrong doesn’t help; I need to understand WHY it’s wrong, weak, ineffective.
• Over the Hump. The second way it’s different is that this critique is designed to get me over the rejection-hump into editorial territory. An editor would reject the story if I sent in this second draft. I knew that, or I wouldn’t have sent it for a critique. Hopefully, this third draft will be a cleaner, sweeter, story, ready for an editor’s 419 specific comments!

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Wisdom, the Midway Albatross

by Darcy Pattison

Giveaway ends March 11, 2012.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

Enter to win

Feedback on Story or Best Way to Tell Story?

I’ve always considered the first draft of a novel as a time to get the story down on paper. The second draft is a time to consider the best way to tell that story.

So, when I’m looking at feedback from a reader, a critique of a draft, I’m considering this, too. Is the reader questioning the story, or are they referring to the best way to tell that story? My reaction depends on the answer to this.

Questions about the Story

Some feedback questions the basics of my story.
Not believable: Sometimes a reader simply doesn’t believe the premise of the story, it’s too far-fetched, or doesn’t ring true in some way. For example, I’m dealing with foster children in my story and the mechanics of placing children in foster care must be believable.

(Of course, the hardest part here is that readers’ experiences differ: those who are foster parents and good ones, tend to gloss over difficulties; social workers who work with the hardest populations and have thus consistently seen the worst, tend to gloss over the good experiences. Partly, this is a balancing act, but it must be addressed.)

Logic: Sometimes, the story logic is flawed. This may be deep enough of a flaw that it makes me reconsider major sections of the story; or it may be minor enough to fall into the category of how to tell the story. If it’s deep enough, it forces me to replot.

Questions about How to Tell this Story to Emotionally Affect the Reader

Here is where I listen the closest to a reader.
Openings. The opening either grabbed the reader or it didn’t.
Endings. The ending was either satisfying to this reader or not.
Characters. The reader either liked or sympathized with the character or not.
Events. Either moved or bored the reader.

In other words, I can’t argue with the reader here. It’s their own personal reaction. So, I listen carefully. But I also try to cast a fairly wide net of readers to get several opinions, because – as editors constantly remind us – there is a great variety of opinions out there.

But believe me, I’m very, very, very concerned about how to tell a story that deeply moves you. Your reaction is everything.

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Wisdom, the Midway Albatross

by Darcy Pattison

Giveaway ends March 11, 2012.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

Enter to win

Yep. You gotta get feedback on your novel and you gotta act on it. On everything? Yep. But what if. . .

Yes! Oh! No? Uh-oh! Huh?

Okay. Here are five reactions I’ve had to recent feedback: Yes! Oh! No? Uh-oh! Huh?

• Yes! It’s great when feedback confirms what you were already thinking needed work. You knew this area was weak, and sure enough, the reader confirmed it. These changes or revisions to your novel are made easier by this confirmation.



• Oh! These are unexpected, new ideas for ways to solve a problem in a particular way. I love it when the reader gets what I’m doing in this novel and suggests a perfect revision. These are often ideas about adding, omitting, changing or rearranging.

  For example, one comment recently was to take a line from page 76 and use it as the opening line. I’m still not sure it will work, but it’s shaken me out of my rut on that first line and now I’m more likely to find the right place to start.

• No? Now what? The hardest comments are those which contradict what I set out to do. Did the reader just not understand the story, or am I not understanding my story? It’s confusing for a while and hard to decide because, in the end, I must trust my own judgment – something every novel faces, but something that takes courage. Fortunately, I’m not getting lots of these, but even one throws me for a loop for a while.
• Uh-Oh! I hate it when I know what I meant, but the reader clearly didn’t get it when they read this draft of the novel. That means the story is still stuck in my head and it’s not on paper yet. Clarity. That’s the goal when facing these type comments. Not changing my ideas, or abandoning them. Just clarifying them, so the reader gets it. THEN, we’ll see if the next reader of the next draft has another reaction. But first, I want my idea to be clear to the reader before I abandon or modify it.
• Huh? I love these wild card comments. My first response is, where did THAT come from? Sometimes, these odd-ball comments on the novel can spark a fresher, more unusual, more interesting way of showing the story. It’s a revision I would never have thought of but – WOW! – what a great idea.

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Wisdom, the Midway Albatross

by Darcy Pattison

Giveaway ends March 11, 2012.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

Enter to win

I’m waiting for critiques from four readers on the second draft of my novel. I know what I think needs work, and it will be interesting to see if the readers agree.

Meanwhile:

Between Drafts

Despair v. Hope. I’m vacillating between hope and despair. My gut tells me this draft is a big improvement, but my inner critic is harsh. I don’t know if I should hide my head in shame or tall taller with pleasure in what I’ve done.

Cleaning the office. Yes, that chore got done. Sorta. I’m doing neglected chores, like filing, updating my bio on various websites, planning holiday meals, and actually reading.

Shorter pieces. I’m working on some shorter pieces. I’ve had a nf article accepted by Highlights, I’m working on another short project, and I’m re-reading almost every failed picture mss in my files to see if I know how to fix any of them. I wrote a piece for our regional SCBWI newsletter. These aren’t time-wasters, but important things which just get muscled out of the way by the heftier novel. I’m glad to be playing with the chihuahuas for a change.

Preparing Emotionally for the Next Draft. I’m getting ready emotionally to “kill my darlings,” to give up my attachment to the current plot and form of the novel if needed, and to dig in and work hard.

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Wisdom, the Midway Albatross

by Darcy Pattison

Giveaway ends March 11, 2012.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

Enter to win

Reading a Critique of My Novel is. . .

painful. It’s necessary. It’s helpful. But it’s painful. So, I’ve developed an avoidance strategy that helps me deal with the pain. No, I don’t avoid the critique altogether, because that’s not helpful. I need and want feedback on my novel. But my ego doesn’t like it. Not one little bit!

Here’s what I did this time: I asked for critiques during a time that I knew I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on the novel revision because of other projects, family obligations and the season of the year. I openly told my critiquers that I was busy with something else, so take their time: I didn’t want them dropping important projects for a rush critique.

Then, when the critiques came in, I skimmed them. And closed the file.

Six Weeks Later – Distance

I’m now ready to start seriously digging into the novel, changing set-up, back story, character motivations, character descriptions, character qualities, setting, plot events and anything else I can find to work on. Re-reading the critiques this week was OK. I had some distance and I’m ready for the process. Distance has helped.

Before the cooling off period? The critiques seemed harsh, the critiquer as discouraging as possible. The novel in question seemed ready for the trash.
Now? The critiques seem gentle and helpful. They are indeed pointing out flaws that must be addressed, exactly what I needed and wanted. The critiques seem almost encouraging.

Almost. Well, yes, there’s still an ego problem. Always will be. But I can deal with the critiques now and early this summer, I just couldn’t. For me, the cooling off period has been essential.

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Wisdom, the Midway Albatross

by Darcy Pattison

Giveaway ends March 11, 2012.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

Enter to win

I’m writing a picture book that I know should work. But it’s not.

Consider the Picture Book Audience

Part of the problem with this story is that it’s set in a commercial kitchen and I have a kid who wants to cook. Critiquers tell me that the writing is great, the kid is great, but they wonder about that kid in a commercial kitchen.

Wouldn’t it violate child labor laws?
Wouldn’t the kid be in danger of getting burned?
Would a kid even WANT to be a cook? Why?
How old is this kid anyway?
Why is the kid even in this restaurant, so he gets hooked on cooking? Maybe, it’s his uncle’s restaurant and his parents work and he has to go over there after school and study.

ARGH! No!

Obviously, the adult audience for this story doesn’t connect. What about the kid audience?

At nine or ten, I was baking birthday cakes — from scratch — for my six brothers and sisters. One of the few dissenters in the group of critiquers says that her kids LOVE to make her coffee (Obviously, she lives in the great NW.) It just seems natural to me that a kid would want to cook! I’m convinced the story will work, if I can get around the adult objections.

And I do understand the objections. And I will address the objections. But it will mean starting from scratch and reconsidering both audiences for picture books, the adult and the child.

Research, then Revise

I decided to research. I’ve read through How I Learned to Cook, edited by Kimberly Witherspoon and Peter Meehan. This fascinating book is first-person accounts from some of the world’s greatest chefs on how they fell in love with cooking as a way of life.

Many of the accounts are about a chef’s young adult years, or about some mistake s/he made during chef school or at a first job. But a couple were about falling in love with food and cooking at an early age. I’m also doing free-writes about why I liked cooking as a nine year old. And I’m reaffirming what is the heart of the story for me, remembering why I wanted to write this story.

A new draft will come. And it will be better.

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Wisdom, the Midway Albatross

by Darcy Pattison

Giveaway ends March 11, 2012.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

Enter to win