30 Days to a Stronger Scene

What has the most potential for improving your writing? Learning to write a strong scene; then making sure every scene in your story is strong. Because it’s so important, we’ll spend the next 30 days breaking down scenes and trying to write the strongest possible.
30 Days to a Stronger Scene Table of Contents

What is a scene?

It is a self-contained unit of action within a story, novel, or script.
The action has a beginning, middle and end; it consists of external actions, thought and emotions of characters. A character has an underlying goal or need and s/he tries to achieve that goal; complications and obstacles prevent the character from reaching the goal and the scene ends in a disaster.

Why write in scenes?

Because it’s easier to build tension, write tight and stay focused when writing in scenes. Using a scene means everything in that section of the story is focused on the character’s current goal; all obstacles relate to that goal; the disaster increases tension and puts the character in even hotter water. The result is that readers stay tuned.

How do I know if I write in scenes?

The Box Test. One test to see if you write in scenes is to literally mark one your manuscript, drawing a box around the scene. It may cover several pages, but you can box it out. The scene structure may be loose and not fully developed, but within that box, there should be some sense of movement toward a goal.

If you’re used to writing scripts, scenes in a novel work a little bit different. For scripts, scenes are mandatory and a new scene starts any time the location changes: for example, if a character is outside a house and walks inside. Scenes in scripts tend to be short. For a novel, a scene can extend longer and cover several minor changes of setting. So, if you’re used to writing scripts, instead think of scene sequences, or a series of scenes that cover a distinct goal of a character.

Is writing in scenes easy to learn?

Yes. The basics are simple. The nuances are as easy and as hard as any other story writing skills.

What will 30 Days to a Stronger Scene cover?

Everything you ever wanted to know about scenes. And then some. Stay tuned.

Want more immediately? Here are two great resources.

• 
  Sandra Scofield’s book is an excellent primer for writing scenes. Her examples are drawn mostly from the literary genre, rather than popular noves, so I find them hard to slog through sometimes. But everything else in her book is excellent.




• This classic by Jack Bickham gives the lowdown on scenes in detail. It’s a gem.

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Wisdom, the Midway Albatross

by Darcy Pattison

Giveaway ends March 11, 2012.

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Exploring Issues through Story

This weekend, I read Kenneth Oppel’s new book, Half Brother.

I’ve enjoyed his award-winning Silverwing trilogy about bats, and loved his AIRBORN, a Printz Honor book.

Because his career has been grounded in fantasy, it was interesting to see this foray into historical fiction. Half Brother is about a family who adopts a chimpanzee with the idea of raising him as a human and teaching him sign language. Set in 1973, it is surely inspired by the chimp, Koko, who learned to sign and other similar chimps.

Humans and Chimps

This isn’t the first book written about chimpanzees and whether or not they can acquire language. Or books about the similarity between humans and chimps. What I find instructive here is that Oppel joins the conversation and with this book helps shape that conversation; he brings new impetus to the discussion and points it in certain ways.

Books about chimps and humans. Certainly, the classic is Peter Dickinson’s book, EVA. In this book, a girl is about to die, so her brain is transplanted into a chimpanzee. Certainly the physical similarities make it possible in fiction anyway. The story is about the girl waking up and discovering that she has a chimp body; what does that do to her mental processes? Will she still be human, even though she’s in a chimp body?

The question of our humanness, what makes humans unique and special is in question in EVA. And the story’s answer is startling and thought-provoking. (You should really read it.)

What Do you Add to the Conversation?

Oppel comes at it from a different POV, with a different question. What if someone tried to raise a chimp as a human being and teach him language. Some speculate that language is what makes humans different from other species. What is language and how do you define it? This question comes up in Half Brother. Echoing EVA, there’s also the question of the physical body ad what it means for a chimp or human. Oppel adds in the question of how humans treat animals, or animal rights and animal rights activism. He tries to present both sides, but of course, it’s impossible for any novelist to be completely neutral. And why should he be neutral? It’s fiction.

How to Add to the Conversation

For us, when we write, it’s also a reminder that our writing doesn’t stand alone. It stands in the stream of novels and fiction written by our generation. But it also stands in the context of the time line of our culture and the canon of literature of our culture. When you approach a controversial topic, take some clues from Oppel:

Story. Concentrate on the story. Half Brother is the story of two years of Ben Tomlin’s live, from thirteen to fifteen. He very much wants to capture Jennifer’s heart, a subplot that sometimes competes with the chimp story for attention. There’s a subplot with Ben and his dad, with Ben fighting for his dad’s love and attention. In other words, the chimp story is definitely the main plot, but it is counterpointed by the very teenage story of a first love and a search for a parent’s love.

Join the conversation. I don’t know if Oppel was aware of EVA before his wrote this. But certainly, there are other books about animal rights and about what makes us human. This story adds to both conversations as they are played out in our culture’s literature. Don’t repeat the same arguments in similar ways to other books. Find new things to say and new ways for them to play out over the course of a story.

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Wisdom, the Midway Albatross

by Darcy Pattison

Giveaway ends March 11, 2012.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

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On BookTrailerManual.com, we’ve posted a Q& with Analine Johnson, a librarian from Laredo, TX, who loves to create book trailers. Four–count them, four!–of her trailers are finalists for the new School Library Journal Trailie award. A

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Wisdom, the Midway Albatross

by Darcy Pattison

Giveaway ends March 11, 2012.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

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When should your characters notice and comment on something and when should it be just subtly included?

Subtext is when something is going on in the story, but it’s only mentioned in passing, slantwise, or it’s just understood. Often, subtext comes out in dialogue, the unspoken things that the audience understands from knowing the characters and their relationship. But it can also be used in description.

For example, I recently read a story about a Muslim high school girl. The author had pointed out on the first page that the girl wore a hajib, the traditional head covering. Of course, it’s appropriate and of course, the reader needs to know this information. But how to convey it?

The point of the story is how a Muslim girl gets along in high school, so it’s fine to point this out on the first page. But, is it best? Should this first person narrator mention it directly? Would she mention it? Maybe. But maybe it would be better to slip it in sideways?

How to do that? The story starts in a chemistry classroom with the teacher talking about safety in using the bunsen burner. What if the hajib had a long tail, similar to a long scarf? Then, the character could just casually throw that scarf part over her shoulder for safety’s sake. Job accomplished. We see the scarf and understand her religious affiliation.

That accomplishes the same thing as telling about the character’s clothing, but it does it casually. The head covering is a natural part of the story, not introduced in an overt way.

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Wisdom, the Midway Albatross

by Darcy Pattison

Giveaway ends March 11, 2012.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

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Notes from the Field

If you’re revising a novel or picture book, one step is to look at the dialogue of your characters and sharpen it. Tom Chiarella, in his book,Writing Dialogue suggests recording dialogue — yes, you get to EavesDrop! — around you for a day. At least for a couple hours. If you only use full-sentence dialogue, it can be stilted, boring and can create awkward rhythms. We convey so much in just a few words and often mean several things at once with those few words. So, here are my notes from the field for a couple hours, recording exactly what I said. Notice how MUCH you can tell about the events and what others are saying just by the snippets of dialogue. (Names and phone numbers XXX-out to protect the innocent.)

Getting daughter out of bed

I don’t have time to be gentle.
That helps.
No, you can’t consistently count on it. It’s not your car.

Before and During Breakfast

He’s not up yet.

I’ve been in there once or twice.

I need to eat.
I’ve messed around too long.
Could you clean up the kitchen, do the things you haven/t done in two days.
Where? What?
It would be easier with a comb.
Too late now.
We gotta remember to take the trash out.
Nothing.
Oh, man!
Mine.
Both of you stop.
It’s not just her. It’s you, too.
Stop! XXX, don’t take that in your room, please!
Ok.
No. No. It’s a mess.
Whose spoon is this?
Just ‘sec.
Tell MMM she has e-mail.
Five?
What is it, oh, a Pokemon?
ZZZ, work on that kitchen now.
It used to be a road.
What?
Wow. How much?
$15 isn?t bad at all. Who’s sponsoring it?
Cool. It’s not bad.
I’m gonna shower.
I’m gonna shower.
Fix–transmission?
Huh? I’m totally lost.
Oh, OK.
OH, well.
Gimme kiss.
Yes. To school?
No. Gimme kiss.
Lots more than that. I’ll be in the library today. At noon. XXX has to stay ?’til 4. So we?ll just stay.
You might as well read.
Good.
Yep.
Have a good day.

Taking truck to shop

Last night, we lost 3rd and 4th gears. You can put it in gear but you have to hold the stick. 1st, 2nd & 5th are OK.
OK.
Oh, and he said to change the oil and a nut on the valve cover is missing.
Pattison. I-s-o-n. Not e-r.
We also have a Sienna van so we should be in the computer.
Let me give you his number. XXX-XXXX.
OK.
A second number XXX-XXXX. But I’ll be gone a lot, so try him first.
And give us an estimate. Just give us an idea of how long would help.
He’s coming to get me, so I?ll just go in the waiting room.
Don’t change the oil first. Let us know how much on the transmission first.
Is that all you need?

Driving to work with DH

She said she’d call you with an estimate. It’ll probably take over night.
Where’s my glasses?
My headache is coming back.
No, on the other side.
Yep.
Yeah.
Uh huh.
Uh huh.
So, which do you like?
What is all that?
Huh?
Yep. That’s the one you said I could have? I could put it on my business cards?
That’s weird.
Strange. I gotta call XXXXXX. About YYY.
Where’s the check book? I need one for this doctor’s visit.
Bad time for a vacation with all the other guys messed up.
Wow. Must be nice.
Yeah. He’s the best marketer.
Which one?
That’s good.
By who?
I should be able to make it to the doctor by nine. I was hoping I could go be the house and eat, though. I need to go by and see XXX and then–I need to buy crickets. (Note: to feed the lizards.) And I?ll bring you the car just before 12.
Okay. I know.
Helicopter.
Where?
Yeah.
Kinda misty on the river today.

Yeah, I know.
It was weird yesterday.
Yeah. Like what?
I haven’t heard of him.
What are they building over there?
Boy, that looks terrible. It’s big. Well–it’s just big. Wow. That’s amazing.
I have my keys. I need a check.
Was it on the table?
That’s right. Love you.

Saying Hi to Neighbor

Good morning.
Pretty good.
Already in a rush.

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Wisdom, the Midway Albatross

by Darcy Pattison

Giveaway ends March 11, 2012.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

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I’m getting much closer to actually starting my new novel, but I’m still asking myself a crucial question.

What is the cost of success for the main character?

Loss of innocence. If you write a bildungsroman novel, that genre which take a main character from childhood to adulthood, the cost is a loss of innocence. I’m actually doing this, but I also want a physical thing to represent that turning away from childish things and toward more mature things.

It could be something like putting away stuffed animals in favor of taking care of real animals, accepting the responsibility of their care. I’m looking around my story for possibilities.

Physical cost. Or, there could be a real physical cost. In his book about writing science fiction, Orson Scott Card talks about developing a story where men could do powerful magic. BUT, to make it cost something, he decided that magic could only be powerful if the mage cut off a part of himself. Cutting off a finger was a small magic, but cutting off an arm was bigger magic.

That kind of sacrifice is built into the framework of the story, the milieu. It could be used in the climax of the story effectively by the making a mage choose a bigger physical sacrifice for the biggest magic, a sort of literal self-sacrifice.

Emotional sacrifice. Of course, there are emotions that can be given up for the greater good of someone in the story. Think of Dicken’s A Tale of Two Cities..

Finding the Right Sacrifice

I’m asking these questions:

• What does my character love the most? What if she had to give it up?
• What does my character fear the most? How can I make her face that fear?
• What character hurts the most? Could that character be the main character? How could I make my main character hurt the most?

I know that the ending of my story’s plot needs more punch and I’m sure it’s because I haven’t yet asked my main character to make a choice, to sacrifice something important in order to gain something even better.

Somewhere, Katherine Paterson said that creating a plot is like cutting an image into stone with only a paper clip. (obviously that’s paraphrased!) Wish someone could give me a stone chisel, because I feel exactly the same!

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Wisdom, the Midway Albatross

by Darcy Pattison

Giveaway ends March 11, 2012.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

Enter to win

As I’m working on the plan for this new novel, creating characters and trying out voices, I’m trying to strengthen my weakest areas.

My Weakness is Character

My weakness is character. I can plot fine, but creating characters with plausible character growth is hard for me. I think I’ve got it and my friends tell me that I’m still way off.

This time, I’m majoring on the character’s emotional life. I won’t actually start writing until I have charted the ups and downs of the character as she moves through the events planned.

In James Frey’s book, How to Write a Damn Good Novel II, he gives an example of the Biblical story of Samson and Delilah. Frey uses the idea of a premise, or a short statement about the overall story. For Samson, he uses the premise: Repentance leads to a glorious death.

Frey says that a premise isn’t the same as a moral, and doesn’t have to match up with what we would normally call moral or right or ethical. Instead, it’s a summary of what THIS STORY is saying; it’s intrinsic to this one and only story.

What I liked was when Frey expanded upon the premise:

God’s love leads to a great strength, which leads to heroism in battle, which leads to haughtiness and arrogance, which leads to temptations of the flesh, which leads to betrayal, which leads to defeat and disgrace and blindness, which leads to repentance, which leads to a restoration of superpowers, which leads to a glorious death.

He says the premise, “Repentance leads to a glorious death” is merely a shorthand for the longer version.

Well, I’ve got the premise down! What I’m trying to do right now is to expand it (hindsight is always easier!) so that I can see the character arc better, especially the emotional arc. I love that Frey’s expansion had character qualities: haughty, arrogant, disgrace.

I would like to make it even more tied to those, so it will help me write a better character story:

God’s love overwhelms, which leads to devotion to God, which leads to surprising gift of great strength, which leads to courage, which leads to a heady success in battle, which leads to haughtiness and arrogance, which leads to less devotion to God, which leads to passion and love for Delilah, which leads to betrayal and heartache, which leads to defeat, despair, disgrace and blindness, which leads to repentance, which leads to a renewed awe and devotion to God, which leads to surprising gift of super strength restored, which leads to ultimate sacrifice for sake of God, which leads to a glorious death.

Well, maybe not that much different, but I like–and need–that emphasis on character.

While I’m developing character conflicts, I’m also working on this emotional arc. When I know the arc, then it will be easier to test plot events to make sure they are related to this emotional arc.

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Wisdom, the Midway Albatross

by Darcy Pattison

Giveaway ends March 11, 2012.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

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How Firm are Book Publisher’s Guidelines on Book Length?

I had a question come up last week: how hard and fast are the rules about the length of a picture book manuscript? Can you get by with 1900 words? 2000 words? 2500 words?

The length requirements for every genre, from picture books to easy readers to short chapter to middle grade and teen novels — the recommended lengths are only guidelines.

Write your story the best way you can. Most editors will say to write the story you need to write. They will worry about how to fit it all into 32 pages, or if it should go to 48 pages or if it should be cut.

Some genres, some publishers are very strict on guidelines. On the other hand, some publishers and some genres have very strict guidelines. Easy readers are only allowed a certain number of characters per line and rarely exceed posted story length. If in doubt, ask the editor; or, simply follow the guidelines.

Consider your audience. You should also consider your readers and the characteristics and interests of the readers. For pre-school kids, do you really expect them to sit still and stay interested in something that is 2000 words long? Time yourself reading those 2000 words and consider the attention span of young children. Given a choice, wouldn’t they rather hear a story — complete with a beginning, middle, end and an emotional tug — in just 200 words?

Make sure you are matching up a story with an audience. If you are breaking the guidelines, ask yourself the tough question: is this story targeted to the right age audience?

Don’t fall in love with your words. Also, be sure — how to put this delicately — make sure you aren’t being lazy or sloppy in your writing. I’ve seen 2000 words stories that can easily be cut to 800 words and be all the better for it. I’ve had stories like that myself. Change as many verbs as possible to active verbs, eliminate all adverbs, and most adjectives; convert prepositional phrases to adjectives or omit; cut any redundancies; cut dialogue to bare minimum; etc. Cut.

Follow the guidelines — usually. In other words, the guidelines are guidelines for good reasons and if you ignore them, it is at your own peril. Yes, of course, you’ll find picture books at 1900 words; but they will be written for the upper elementary students, not the toddlers. But there will also be rare exceptions when the subject matter, the writing, or the genre will allow you to bend the guidelines — a little.

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Wisdom, the Midway Albatross

by Darcy Pattison

Giveaway ends March 11, 2012.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

Enter to win

Use the power of your word processor to help you keep track of details while writing a novel. You’ll have fewer mistakes

Have you ever forgetten the color of a character’s eyes?

Keep a Character Bible: create a file in which you keep descriptions of each character. This is much easier than hunting through a mss in search of details.

Does Every Character Sounds the Same?

Create a Dialogue File for each character. Strip out all the actions, the s/he saids, and other details, leaving only the words that character says. Read through it making sure that this character sounds distinctive and consistent. Repeat for a second character and this time, make sure the characters are different from each other in some telling way. Print out these files and use them to revise the master copy of the novel.

Did You Create a Generic Setting?

Details are what makes a setting unique. A school in Barrow, Alaska is different from one in Miami, Florida. How? Create a Description Bank file and add descriptions from any and every source. Read a magazine article, look at pictures, remember a visit, draw a floor plan – these are sources for specific details. Don’t censor the input into the Description Bank; deposit every word, phrase, or description you find or make up. Then, when you need to describe the setting in your novel, you withdraw just the telling details that make the setting come alive.

Did You Forget to Write in Scenes?

As a reminder to write scenes, create and use a Scene Template. There should be blanks to fill in these specifics: setting, time, character’s present, emotion, function of scene, underlying problem, scene goal. Then include larger spaces for these: beginning conflict, complication, complication, complication, disaster/partial resolution, lead-in to next scene. I often work in a separate file, so I can rant and rave, make side comments, make false starts, revise, cut, add, and generally be messy. When I finally get a scene worked out, then I cut and paste into the master copy of the novel.

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Wisdom, the Midway Albatross

by Darcy Pattison

Giveaway ends March 11, 2012.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

Enter to win

Ever have one of those off days? You don’t sleep and wake up grouchy. You’re half sick but not really sick enough to call it a sick day. You are just disgruntled and don’t know why.

5 Things to do on Off-Days

On those awful days, there are still tasks you can do to be a productive writer.

• Read out loud. We all know the value of reading a work-in-progress out loud, but do we do it? Not always. So take this day and just read the story out loud. You don’t even have to change anything. Just mark places where the word jumble up when you read that sentence aloud. Or places that confuse you. Or places that displease you. Plan to tackle those places tomorrow when you feel better.
• Spell check & grammar check. This is a great day to do those grunt tasks of spell checking and grammar checking. Just run the software and make the changes that you can without really thinking about it. If you run into problems that will take too much thought or concentration for today, then mark them to take care of tomorrow.
• Write letters. This might be a good day to toss off a first draft of a query or a synopsis; wait for a better day, though, to edit and send it out. Or write a fan letter to an author and make his/her day. Write a fan letter to yourself. Write email letters to friends and catch them up on your life. Letters are great pieces of writing and the process of connecting with another person might just brighten your day.
• Write an acrostic poem. I just took Crescent Dragonwagon‘s class called Fearless Writing. Crescent recommends doing acrostic poems at many times in the writer’s life. For example, before she was married, she wrote acrostics on the word marriage, on her current name, on the name she would have if married, and other related terms. Not fond of poetry? Then try writing something, anything, but in a new and different format from what you usually use. Try something new.
• Take a Sick Day. If you truly feel bad, give yourself the day off. Most jobs give employees at least ten sick days a year. When’s the last time you took one from writing? Take the day off and don’t feel bad about it. Sleep. Go out to eat. Take a walk. Relax. And come back tomorrow, ready to work.

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Wisdom, the Midway Albatross

by Darcy Pattison

Giveaway ends March 11, 2012.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

Enter to win