Hope, Optimism, Despair: Writer’s Emotional Roller Coaster

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Hope

Once we finish a draft of a novel and start thinking about revising, there is hope. In her slim volume, Writing Past Dark: Envy, Fear, Distraction and Other Dilemmas in the Writing Life, Bonnie Friedman starts like this:

The happiest I’ve even been was departing before dawn to the bus station in Madrid. The tiny bread shop and the tobacconist were still dark. The wet pavement gleamed when a city bus heaved past. Ahead of me lay unknown towns and countrysides that matched names I knew only from a map, and a new friend who was herself departing just then from across Madrid clutching a plastic bag like mine that was filled, like mine, with an egg-and-potato sandwich and a tangerine. The world was doors opening in all directions. I felt free, and awake, and full of laughter. Writing has often been just like that for me.

That’s hope.
It’s the feeling that we are at the top of our game and building on this solid draft, we can accomplish something unique, special, earth-shattering.

We need that hope at the beginning, or else we wouldn’t start. We know that it will be long and involved and at times discouraging to dig into this story and start messing with it. We know that the results are uncertain. We need that hope.

When Pandora opened the forbidden box, she released all the world’s evils. It sent the world into despair. But then, Pandora opened the box once more and found Hope waiting. Though Hope seemed weak, it was the strongest of the things released that day.

Hope, not optimism.

rollercoasterOptimism is a general outlook on life, or is based on positive thinking. Hope is an emotional response, in our case, the response to a specific task of recasting a story into a stronger form. It is based not on positive thinking: I know I can do this revision well. For me, it’s based on my hope that the writing process will come through for me again.

Hope, not despair.

Despair has enough play in the life of a writer: witness the steady stream of rejection letters that we receive. It’s enough to send me into a writer’s block. But when I face my story, I forget all that. It belongs to the world of submissions and that’s not the world that concerns me when I?m revising. While revising, my loyalty is to the story, the characters, the language–what does this story need to come alive? How can I tell this now familiar story in the strongest way possible? I hope that the process will reveal the best way to tell this story.

Not false hope.

Am I indulging in false hope? No. False hope would be based on laziness, unwillingness to try. I approach revision with an open attitude and try to find ways to work with the story better. I use a variety of writing strategies to find new ways into the story. I may fail, yes. But my hope is based on process, work, past experience of struggling through difficulties in telling a story.
Here is hope: When I look at my story I realize that there’s one more thing for me to try. Hope sends me forward into revision.

Emily Dickinson on Hope

Emily Dickinson’s poem, Hope.

3 Comments
  • Heather Villa (@HeatherVilla1)
    December 9, 2013

    Hi,

    This post is lovely! Thank you.

    Bonnie Friedman’s quote pulled me in – I felt it…hope.

    Thanks for the link to the poem.

    Heather

  • Darcy Pattison
    December 10, 2013

    Heather:
    Thanks! The Friedman quote is nice.
    Darcy

  • Lou Kief
    December 22, 2013

    I have never read a better description of our emotional process when putting a story on paper and working through the editing process. Hope. – Self Doubt – Discouragement. Then we put it in a drawer and try to forget about it, only to return to a story we love. Time helps. We can see once again ways to make it better. And when I once again sit down to write something new the fear almost stops me that the essential voice that comes through me won’t be there – but it always is. Financially successful or not, we are writers, and we will write.