You’ve made some major changes in your text, but it’s time for micro-changes.
Examples of microcuts and microchanges
Micro-cuts
Once you’re happy with your text, go back and edit out another 100 words. Again, it’s an arbitrary number, but it works so well. Think of this as a poem, which is the tightest writing possible. Nothing extra, but nothing left out. See here for more on micro-cuts.
- Instead of a prepositional phrase, use an adjective: While you’re at it, replace to be verbs with stronger verbs.
The tree with the apples was big/The apple tree loomed. - Unless it’s part of the voice, cut out introductory words. While you’re at it, sharpen details. While you’re at it, replace to be verbs with stronger verbs.
Well, it was a nice day/The sun gleamed. - Replace weak nouns with specific nouns. While you’re at it, replace “to be” verbs with stronger verbs.
The dog barked/The poodle yapped.PASTICHE OR BORROWING FROM OTHERS
Look around for picture books you admire. When you find one, rewrite your story in the same voice and style as the admired book. Do at least once, but repeat as many times as you can.
Some things you might learn:- Your voice is bland, or excitable, or unique.
- The story changes because of a different voice/style.
- The appropriate age of the reader changes as the voice/style change.
- Your default style has too much (adjectives, to be verbs, visual description, etc.)
ADD WORD PLAY
Read Alexis O’Neill’s book, The Recess Queen. It’s a great example of playing with language. It turns a didactic story about bullies into a piece of literature that I’d read to anyone. In fact, when my college freshman students had to write an essay about bullies, I read it to them.
ACTION POINTS
Revise! This is where the fun comes in, so revise and revise and revise.
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I just wanted to let you know, in appreciation of your blog, I have passed along to you the Brilliante Weblog award. ;)
http://d-michiko-f.livejournal.com/2008/08/15/
[...] The story feels too wordy. (Cut in half!) [...]
[...] Picture Books standards: 32 pages Putting the Picture in Picture Books Write the First Draft of a Picture Book The Dual Audience for Picture Books Did you Write a Picture Book or Something Else? Check Your Picture Book’s Story Arc Shakespeare Helps You Write a Better Picture Book Picture Book Settings Options for Picture Book Characters Playing With Words for Picture Books Page 32 How to Mock Up a Picture Book 5 Ways to Make The Reader Turn the Page Revise the Picture Book Text [...]
[...] Next, do Micro-cuts. [...]
[...] Picture Books standards: 32 pages Putting the Picture in Picture Books Write the First Draft of a Picture Book The Dual Audience for Picture Books Did you Write a Picture Book or Something Else? Check Your Picture Book’s Story Arc Shakespeare Helps You Write a Better Picture Book Picture Book Settings Options for Picture Book Characters Playing With Words for Picture Books Page 32 How to Mock Up a Picture Book 5 Ways to Make The Reader Turn the Page Revise the Picture Book Text [...]