Stop! Before you send out that picture book manuscript, cut it by at least one-third. Really. Make that revision.
Biggest Mistake in Picture Book Manuscripts
I recently read a picture book manuscript from a novice writer and it had the usual problem: too long.
- Repetitive words. Never, never repeat a word unless you absolutely must, or unless it adds to the story. Sure, when you write a first draft, you often repeat something by accident. But you should go through a picture book manuscript with a fine-toothed comb to make sure you’ve cut out any extras.
- Adjectives, Adverbs. Picture books need action; leave adjectives to the illustrator. Because it includes illustrations, you should only include the adjectives that make a difference. Grass is green. Duh. Only use adjective if, for example, your grass is purple.
For adverbs, please replace them with a stronger verb.
- The boy walked slowly.
- The boy limped.
- Clauses, Prepositional Phrases. Leave out the extra commentary (unless it’s part of the mss’ voice).
- Well, in the end, it was a day that pleased me greatly.
- I enjoyed the day.
Try rephrasing prepositional phrases by moving a word to an adjective position:
- It was a day of joy.
- It was a joyful day.
- Dialogue. Dialogue is unlike real speech; it’s compressed speech. Leave out the pleasantries and get to the heart of the conversation.
Why are you so late? I was waiting and waiting, just sitting on this bench, waiting for you. Why are you so late?
Well, I had a flat tire and I couldn’t get the lug nuts loose. So I had to wait until a policeman stopped. He was really nice, a big tall policeman and he was strong enough to loosen the bolts and finally I got the tire changed.
Yes, well, I’m sorry I was so late.
Hey, what’s up? Why so late?
Sorry. I had a flat and couldn’t change it by myself. A cop stopped and helped and now, I’m here.
STOP! Cut Your Mss by 1/3. At Least!
Before you send out your mss, try to cut it by 1/3 without changing the story. Then try to cut another 50-100 words. Compare the before and after. If the story has changed (for the worse), you can add back a few words; but I’ll wager that the story will be much stronger with the revision.
While there are no hard and fast rules, picture books that run 500 words or less tend to sell better. For pre-school stories it’s a stricter limit than for school age (K-3).
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