Creating the voice you want for your story or novel begins with Word Choices. It continues with control of your sentences. I emphasize control because many writers–well, they just write. Without consideration of sentence structures.

Sentences, as the basic building block of the written word, need careful attention. You can write long, short, simple, complex, parallel, convoluted or fragmented. Yes. Fragments work.

When do you use which sentence structure. Here’s where it helps to read your work aloud, listening for a smooth flow. Does the writing disappear and let the story come forward, or does the writing force you to stop and read again for clarity? Are there frequent stutters as the rhythm of the piece breaks down?

Where do you want the emphasis?

In Style: Lessons in Clarity and Grace, Joseph Williams takes a scholarly look at sentences and how to manage them. Of course, there are lessons on omitting the passive voice, creating strong subjects of sentences and making sure there is clarity throughout. He also speaks of putting the emphasis where you want it to be. For example, I often ask people to look at a paragraph and identify the most important word/phrase in that paragraph. Williams says the ends of sentences are positions of emphasis or stress. So, I ask the writers to reword the sentence and put the most important word last.

Consider the differences between these two sentences.

1. The Revolution has begun.
2. It was the beginning of the Revolution.

#1 is shorter and emphasizes that something has started.
#2 is longer and emphasizes there is a Revolution. It uses the “It was. . .” construction to push the important information to the end of the sentence. A careful writer would weigh the disadvantage of the weaker to-be verb with the advantage of putting the word “Revolution” in the position of stress.

The choice depends on where you want the readers to focus. It’s a choice that affects style, clarity and, of course, voice.

Here are other posts on using great sentences to create voice.

• Voice Friday: Sentences
• Voice Friday: Sentence Control
• Sentence Fragments: Use for Conversational Tone

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Voice begins with the right choice of words

Word choices matter!

1. Word origins can make a difference: fire is a strong Anglo-Saxon word, while inferno is a Latin-based word.
2. Length or syllable count matter: fire is single syllable, while inferno has three syllables.
3. The connotations of words matter. Does inferno carry connotations of hell? While fire makes you think of a cozy campfire? Connotations can be personal, but they also are cultural and these nuances matter.
4. The formality of words, from formal to informal, can change voice.
5. Progressions–for example, comparative to superlative–also affect voice.
6. Jargon is the specialized vocabulary for a subject: for example, in baseball, you would talk about steals, earned runs and RBIs. Slang is contemporary language that means something to today’s audience only.

Words That Mean Something Else

Classic rhetoric discusses tropes, or the ways that words are used. Sometimes we call this figurative language, but it’s mostly how the word is used. Here are some common tropes.

1. Metaphor/Simile: Two unlike things are said to be alike. The comparison is implied for a metaphor, but explicit for a simile.
   Ex. Eating, he was a pig.
   He ate like a pig.
2. Synecdoche: Part stand for the whole.
   Ex. He’s in trouble with the law. (Law stands for police or legal system.)
3. Syllepsis: Use of one verb that is understood differently in relation to two or more objects.
   Ex. His boat and his dreams sank.
4. Anthimeria: One part of speech is exchanged for another.
   Ex. They enrolled in parenting class. (Parent is a noun used as an adjective.)
5. Periphrasis: Substitution of one or more descriptive words for a proper name.
   Ex. Blue-Eyes can croon a great tune.
6. Personification: Attribution of human qualities to inanimate objects or abstractions.
   Ex. No one, not even rain, has such small hands. (e.e. cummings)
7. Litotes: Use of understatement to intensify an idea. It usually involves denying the contrary.
   Ex. It isn’t very serious. I have this tiny little tumor on the brain. —J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye
8. Oxymoron: Juxtaposition of two contradictory words.
   Ex. To win is to lose.

For more on how Word Choices Affect Voice, read these:

• Voice Friday: Word Choices
• Voice Friday: Word Connotations
• Voice Friday: Word Sounds
• Voice Friday: Words for Your Voice

Do you have any examples of how word choices changed the voice of a story?

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Importance of Sentence Variety

My niece was here this weekend and we talked about her college writing experience. She said they try to change her habitual writing of high school into something more sophisticated. For example, they eschew the five-paragraph essay, rightly so. Instead, they look for more sophisticated structures.

But when I teach writing, I focus on not just on structures, but on the craft of writing itself. It begins with sentences, especially with sentence variety: long, short, simple, complex, convoluted, straight forward, building with a series, stopping abruptly, or continuing forward to complete a thought.

One of the most helpful things I ever did was work through The Art of Styling Sentences: 20 Patterns for Success. It forces you to look at sentences in all their simplicity, complexity and glory.

For example, do you know how–it’s really easy–to interrupt a sentence with another sentence and correctly punctuate it? The patterns encourage writers to gain control of their language and punctuation, to throw fear of commas and semi-colons and colons out the window, and start writing what they want to write.

Summer Challenge

Summer is a challenging time for some writers because kids are home. So here’s a perfect challenge for you, a challenge that will improve your writing with very little effort!

Are you holding back because you don’t know how to punctuate something? Try this summer challenge with a partner: each week choose a new sentence pattern and use it somewhere at least five times. Have your partner check up and make sure it was used correctly. The first few patterns are simple, but the book builds in complexity. You’ll come out of the summer with a stronger control of the language you use in any context, but it will particularly help your fiction. Really. (Isn’t THAT a great sentence fragment, used correctly? You need to control even those rogues.)

After you’ve worked through the patterns in this book, there are two a final challenges.

• Write at least a 100 word sentence, correctly punctuated.
• Correctly use a sentence fragment. Really.

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Do you ever type up someone else’s picture book or a chapter from someone else’s book? I do. I find that just reading a selection, even reading aloud, doesn’t get me into the language and rhythm patterns as well as typing the text does.

My intent with this exercise isn’t to mimic the selected text, but to study something about a particular genre, publisher, target audience, etc. Then, I can break any of the “rules” I’ve uncovered because I understand better why the author made this set of choices about words, sentences, rhythm patterns and reading levels. Now – off to writing.

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I am almost sad and depressed today. Why? Because I’m looking at the wrong things. Writers of picture books or novels must remember to pay attention to their work, not the audience’s appraisal of their work.

The Audience is Always Late

The audience is always late to the party. When I sold The Journey of Oliver K. Woodman, it was three years before a reviewer ever saw the book. It received starred reviews from Kirkus and BCCB. It was an Irma S. and James H. Black Picture Book Award Honor Book. In fact, I have a file that lists the awards this book won. And it will be released in paperback in February!

In reality, when I sold the book in 2000, I was an “Award-Winning Author.” It’s just that no one knew it until 2003, when they saw the book.

The audience appreciation is always way later than the creative process.

Pay Attention to the Creative Process

On days like today, when I have a tendency to look at reviews, royalties, agents, awards, sales, speaking engagements, or any other outward measure of success, I have to pull myself back. They only speak about yesterday’s projects, not today’s.

The only thing that matters TODAY is the current project. And the writing went really well yesterday on my WIP, as I finally started figuring out the tricky POV. The writing is going well! And that is reason enough to throw off the stirrings of depression and rejoice. The writing went well yesterday and it will go well today. Rejoice.

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Christmas Gift for Our Readers

For the last few years, I’ve posted writing tips from Winter Holiday personalities. For example, Frosty the Snowman has 6 Top Writing Tips. This year, as our Christmas gift to you, we’ve collected these into one downloadable pdf.

Winter Writing with Kids

FREE download. Celebrate the Season while Teaching Kids to Write. 34 Writing Skills addressed.

DOWNLOAD NOW from the FICTION NOTES STORE

The Gingerbread Man gives his writing tips. Be sure to see the related post, Poor Gingerbread Man for funky cookie cutters.

Event Repeat

The story of the Gingerbread Man uses an event-repeat type plot. An event is repeated several times, with only a minor change. When the Gingerbread Man escapes and runs away, he meets several people who want to eat him. Each character is added to the parade as the Gingerbread Man runs away, until the Fox outsmarts him at the last.

Chorus

“Run, Run, Fast as you can, you can’t beat me, I’m the Gingerbread Man.”
Using a Chorus is effective in short stories and picturebooks.

Changing Setting

Especially for the picturebook format, it’s important to keep the setting interesting, so the illustrations are exciting. By sending the Gingerbread Man across the landscape, the illustrations have visually exciting possibilities.

Folktale Mode

This story is in the folktale mode, which treats characters as a general type. For example, the ugly stepsisters in Cinderella, have a role as mean, ugly stepsisters, and not much more. When Gingy is added to the Shrek movies, though, his character is made more interesting by giving him individual characteristics. Decide if your story needs a general, folktale type character or a more individual character.

Folktale Morals

Folktales and fables often add a moral at the end of a story. Of course, the Gingerbread Man should not have trusted the Fox! It’s seldom that picture books and stories today have such an explicit, straight forward moral. Instead, it’s usually implied and the reader is left to verbalize it for him or herself.

Writing Tips from Other Characters

Frosty the Snowman’s Top 6 Writing Tips
Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer’s Top 5 Writing Tips
Santa Claus’s Top 5 Writing Tips
The Gingerbread Man’s Top 5 Writing Tips
12 Days of Christmas Writing Tips

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How do you create tension in a story? I’ve been talking with a friend and his gut instinct is to withhold certain information, for example, the exact location of the scene.

Story Tension

In How to Write Science Fiction & Fantasy, Orson Scott Card says that tension is created by withholding “what happens next.” You give the reader specific, interesting information about what is happening at this specific moment and the reader will turn the page to find out what happens next.

My friend, though, says that as a reader, he likes to know more than the characters in the story. So, for example, in a mystery, he doesn’t mind knowing up front who the killer/criminal is. Then, when the killer interacts with another character, as a reader, he enjoys the thrill of knowing something the character doesn’t know. To him, that’s great tension.

Or, he likes to withhold information, such as the location of a scene, to keep the reader guessing for a time about where exactly the story is taking place.

I tend to agree with Card; however, I see my friend’s points for special situations.

How do you see tension played out in a story?

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by Darcy Pattison

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I’m still looking for a way into a new novel. So, here’s my plan for today: experiment with voice.

Starting with Voice

I’m reading Finding Your Writer’s Voice: A Guide to Creative Fiction by Thaisa Frank and Dorothy Wall. While I don’t like every exercise they suggest, there are some interesting ones.

For my purposes today, Chapter 25 is entitled, “Working with Short Forms to Discover Your Story.” They suggest you write a short piece, just a paragraph or two, each emphasizing a different aspect: character, plot, images, or tone. This should tell me/might tell me what sort of approach to use to the novel I’m planning.

• For voice, they give an example from Sandra Cisnernos’, House on Mango Street, talking about a Hispanic neighborhood entirely from a character’s viewpoint. “Those who don’t know any better come into our neighborhood scared.”
• For plot, there’s a short story by Augusto Monterroso and a prose poem from Danhil Kharms, which they describe as a “tiny Russian novel in a paragraph.” “Once Orlov ate too many ground peas and died.”
• Short examples of prose imagery from Portugese writer Ana Hatherly are called “tisanas” and feature outlandish imagery that takes surprising leaps. “Once upon a time there was a landscape where there were never any clouds. To make it rain it was necessary to wash the horizon with feathers. (from Tisana #87)
• For tone, they offer a paragraph from David Ignatow called, “I’m a Depressed Poem.” “You are reading me now and thanks.”

It is interesting to see how the voice of each of these is dominated by what interests the writer the most.

Actually–I have two or three ideas for a new novel, so I may do this for each of the ideas, and see what voice emerges that excites me.

Starting a new novel is hard work!

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Wisdom, the Midway Albatross

by Darcy Pattison

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I’ve been thinking about the narrators chosen to read various books-on-tape . As I revise my current novel project, I wonder–
who be chosen to read my current WIP? I need suggestions!

The Voice Problem

One of my favorite fantasy titles is Lirael by Garth Nix, the the first book in the Abhorsen Trilogy.

This week, I listened to the audio version of Lirael, as read by Tim Curry. Curry has read about 77 other things listed on Amazon, including many of the Series of Unfortunate Events–Lemony Snickett.

I love Curry’s voice and his reading. But, I can’t imagine him reading my WIP. Wrong voice.

Suggest a Narrator

One thing that an editor said on a previous version of this story is that she wanted more of a regional flavor to the narrative voice. I’m trying to imagine listening to my story on a books-on-tape and can’t quite hear the voice.

This has a Texas/South/Southwest sort of flavor. It’s an animal fantasy, with a sort of epic feel. It doesn’t have to be a male voice, it could be female.

Who would you suggest as the narrator for such a story? Whose voice has a sort of epic quality, yet that Texas twang?

I wonder–if I had that voice firmly in mind (in ear?), would it help me find/explore/play with the story’s voice better? Any suggestions?

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This is an attempt to summarize and organize the comments on my posting last week about voice. Thanks to these writers for making comments: Janni Simner, Joni Sensei, Sarah Miller, T.E. Wymer, Lori Van Hoesen, and Linda Urban. Apologies, if I’ve misconstrued anything. Read the full discussion.

Voice: A summary of comments

1. What is Voice?
   • Define. Definitions of voice are fuzzy.
   • Describe. It’s easier to describe voices, but not much easier:
     Use categories of personality (witty, reserved, observant), narrative tendency/style of speech (mimicry, colorful language, precise speech) .
     Stripped away prose–straight to the point, powerful sentences that create lasting images (ex. Kate DiCamillo in The Tiger Rising)
     Imagery driven with personification (ex. Lizzie Bright and the Buckminster Boy by Gary D. Schmidt)
   • Distinguish among. We distinguish narrative voice (for a certain piece) v. authorial voice (for a canon of writing)? (Does George Clooney always sound like George Clooney, or does he change with each character role?) (Or to reverse that, does Ebenezer Scrooge always sound like Ebenezer, regardless of the actor playing that role?)

     Narrative voice: word choice, attitude, tone, what the character notices, narrator’s voice.
     Authorial voice: transcendent. Complexity v. sparsity of prose, imagery, symbolism, challenge to the reader, provocativeness.

2. The Appeal of Voice
   Do certain voices have a universal subjective appeal? Why do some people like a voice, but others don’t like that voice?
3. Learning/Teaching Voice
   • Can narrative voice and authorial voices be taught?
     Some confidence that narrative voice can be taught (planned and structured), but some skepticism that authorial voice can be taught (gut issue: the best thing that most writers can do is get out of their own way). Structured/intuitive, craft/gut–back to this terminology again, but with the twist that some types of voice must be intuitive/are by nature intuitive and can’t be taught?
   • When, in the writing process do you begin to focus on voice?
     Lori uses the first few drafts to explore voice intuitively. In revisions, she focuses more on voice. Could that be reversed and a story begin with voice?
   • Practice and Play

     Write dialogue between vastly different characters: Ex. Biker chick, Pollyanna
     Do the same with a common topic: talk about how tired you are. Ex. of characters to use–single mother, 5 year-old child, 90 year-old man.
     Do Improv acting on that common topic from the differing POVs, then write again.

   • If you begin voice in a structured way, can it then become intuitive or more natural?
4. Special Problems
   • Multi-voice Project
   • Historical project (or ghostwriting) where you have diaries, letters, interviews, etc. and must recreate the voice found there.
   • First person projects–how to deal with the differences of narrative voice and authorial voice.

More concerns? More to think about?
I’ll be out for a day or two, but will summarize again when I get back.

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Wisdom, the Midway Albatross

by Darcy Pattison

Giveaway ends March 11, 2012.

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